Today’s Monday Soup is a bit different. I let my friend Tyler Tarver help me write it since he has a book that just came out. You’ll probably have a tough time telling which bullet points were written by me and which ones were written by Tyler.
If you’re new here and looking for more of my humor, check out my most popular posts on my About page: about Bryan Allain.
+ Been reading Tyler Tarver’s new toilet book Words & Sentences. It’s a fairly decent way to pass a few minutes when you’re on the john or throwing rocks at your neighbor’s cat. You can click this to buy it if you want, no pressure.
+ Had a blast speaking at Gap Community Church yesterday. Great group of folks who didn’t boo me and my jokes off the stage. Excited to share that message (called “Live. Love. Laugh.”) with more churches. If you’re interested shoot an email with more details to email@example.com.
+ I was reflecting on the whole layout of my website, so I’m gonna change some things up. Instead of writing things of humor, advice, inspiration, and the Amish, I am hereby declaring Wednesdays as Words & Sentences day. Tuesday is Tyler Day, and Thursday is Tarver Day. I’ll also be changing my website URL to something like iheartwordsandsentences.com. I think I may be in love. Buy this book right now.
+ One fantasy draft down, two more to go. If you need help naming your team, look no further than this post I wrote on Naming Your Fantasy Football team last year. Also includes 21 Christian-themed names you can use for your team like “Gomorrah Forecast” and “Manger Danger”.
+ I’ve quit my job. I walked into work this morning and realized that I have less desire to be here than I do to see Hayden Christensen in Princess Diaries 3. I have taken the advice of my second favorite author Jon Acuff, and quit to follow my dream of memorizing Words & Sentences and becoming the first rabbinic travelling proponent of the book of my, and every generation’s generation. Buy this book or I’ll find you.
+ Thanks to the 200+ folks who filled out my reader survey last week. That was a huge help to me, so I really appreciate it. Much gracias.
+ My kids are really important to me. Which is why I have legally changed their names to “Words” and “Sentences”, in honor of the book that has not only changed my life, but saved my marriage, paid off my mortgage, gave me the ability of telekinesis, and eradicated all evil from the state of Pennsylvania. Buy it or never speak to me again.
How many hundred copies of Words & Sentences have you bought this hour?
All joking aside, Tyler Tarver is great. He’s like a bald eagle version of Zack Morris. You can check out his website tylertarver.com, subscribe to it here, check him on Twitter @tylertarver, or just buy his brand new toilet book which he won’t shut up about titled Words&Sentences that four people have said is “funnier than sliced bread.”