12 More Sentences No One Has Ever Said
1. She likes her tomatoes like she likes her men: mealy and ripening on a windowsill.
2. Tell that Amish guy to take off the lipstick and turn off the Disney Channel, we’ve got to finish soldering these microprocessors!
3. It’s always been my dream to eat at a restaurant where everyone in the kitchen cooks with their feet.
4. This horse meat could use a little more bat guano.
5. Your blog re-design would be much more appealing if there were pictures of old men’s butts in the sidebar.
6. The mother elephant gave birth to a treasure chest filled with pirated DVDs and the tears of little leaguers who struck out looking in May of 2003.
7. Geico could be a major force in the insurance world if they ever got around to running ads.
8. Some men need viagra, but all he needs is the faint scent of burning trash and his wife wearing a Jar Jar Binks mask.
9. Her mustache won her the pageant.
10. I’ll take another paper cut on my neck, please.
11. There’s nothing more relaxing than having my children yell through the bathroom door when I’m trying to feed the toilet.
12. This NFL lockout is so much fun!