5 Things You Don’t Know About My New Book

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My new book, Actually, Clams Are Miserable, officially releases today!

It’s a humor book, which means you will learn NOTHING from it at all. You might snicker, you will probably shake your head, and some of you might even spit out your coffee reading it, but you won’t learn anything.

Some folks who have already read it are saying things like, “This is Bryan Allain at his best.” (author Jeff Goins) and “Hilarious. The perfect gift for a guy this Christmas!” (author Annie Downs), so that has been encouraging to hear.

Here are 5 Things You Don’t Know About the Book

1. It has 61 reviews on Amazon.com and is averaging 3.8 out of 5.0 stars. Not bad for a humor book, considering how subjective they are.

2. That being said, the negative reviews are way more painful for me to take than they were with my first two books. Like, to the point where I have decided not to read any more of them.

The reviewer who wrote, “…it’s like reading the rants of a 5-year old,” simultaneously made me laugh AND want to whack her the back of the head with my engineering degree. I didn’t like the way it made me feel (not in a sad way, more of in an “I’ll show you!” way), so no more for me…for now.

3. TODAY ONLY – Tue, 11/27/12 – you can get 3 books, plus the audiobook, plus the eBook, plus the conversation from the video below, ALL FOR $20, WHICH INCLUDES SHIPPING!

You’ll hate yourself tomorrow if you don’t: Actually, Clams Are Miserable.

4. The book really does make a great gift for guys. It’s funny AND it’s clean, so you can give it to your dad or brother-in-law without having that awkward moment when they read something dirty in it. Plus, it’s a wicked easy read. You can pick it up and start anywhere, and you can get through it in an hour if you’re really enjoying it.

5. This conversation was so much fun. You get the whole thing as bonus audio when you buy the 3-book package. In it, humorist Tyler Stanton and I chat about cliches, MENSA, haircuts, returning phone calls, jeans, umbrellas, and a lot of other nonsense. Here’s a taste.

I’m so excited for you to read this one. If you get my humor at all, then I think you’ll love it. (And if you don’t get my humor, it’s probably not for you.)

GET IT TODAY – Actually, Clams Are Miserable with FREE Shipping


  • Rob Shepherd

    Nov 27, 2012


    Got the book. Like it. Made me laugh. I am a little slow though. It took me a good nights sleep to get the title. I woke up the next day after reading it and thought…”happy as a clam. I’m there now.” Get there faster Rob…get there faster.

  • Andrea Ward

    Nov 27, 2012


    I even recommend it for teachers to use in class!

  • Stephen Uchacz

    Nov 27, 2012


    If you look closely in the video, you can see that Bryan and Tyler are actually sitting in the same room! haha

    Love the book!

    • Bryan

      Nov 28, 2012

      i know, doesn’t it seem like that? We’re both in our basements hundreds of miles away but the ceilings line up, the paint color is almost identical, and my map and his door almost lineup perfectly too…crazy. (we didnt notice it when we were recording because it wasn’t in split screen mode.)

  • Lisa

    Nov 30, 2012


    Speaking from experience…from Jerry Seinfeld, that is
    Humor usually comes from pain…

    Speaking from my experience…my humor comes from my (deeper seated) pain. It’s a good way to make wounds bearable, and when others enjoy you for making them laugh, you feel good too.

    It stands to reason that the vehicle of humor is situated to help us heal in many ways, not least of these to give us the tactic and strength to not take ourselves too seriously. To laugh at ourselves and keep life in proper perspective. To remember what’s most important is NOT what others think of us, but to whom we belong.

    (That was a much too long way of saying that, Bryan…you must try to separate yourself from your humor writing, so it isn’t a curse for you to share yourself. Humor is a gift. Your gift. A healing gift. Don’t let anyone deny you what is yours with just their stupid opinion….which begins and ends with them.) Deal? Hang in there, mister.

    One more thing.
    I wrote a Christmas themed humor post. If you, or anyone, wants to add to it, please do….There’s SO much material.

    First entry: “No! Honey, take little baby Jesus out of your mouth and put him back right now!”
    ….Stuff you don’t expect to say at Christmas (humor from real life)… http://goo.gl/fb/TKgks

  • How Evernote Can Revolutionize Your Reading Forever | Some Wise Guy

    Dec 03, 2012


    […] Here is a real life example of how I’m integrating Evernote into capturing notes and tasks from Bryan Allain’s book, Community Wins. […]

  • Jeff Goins

    Dec 03, 2012


    That’s some tail hair right there. 😉

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