Actually, Clams Are Miserable by Bryan Allain

What People Are Saying

“My wife and I laughed out loud at this book reading it together. This is Bryan Allain at his best.” – JEFF GOINS, author of Wrecked

“A hilarious, fun, and easy read. The PERFECT gift for guys this Christmas.” – ANNIE DOWNS, author of Perfectly Unique

“More laugh out loud moments than anything I’ve read in a while. So good.” – TYLER STANTON, from the comedy duo Tripp & Tyler.

Take a Peek Inside

The book features 101 clichés, here are a few you can click to preview


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Kindle Version for $4.99
Paperback Version for $9.23 (not signed)

About the Book

Actually, Clams Are Miserable is a humorous exploration of the clichés and expressions Americans use every day without really thinking about what they’re saying. Some of the expressions poked fun of in this beautiful, 125-page book include:

  • “It’s raining cats and dogs out there.”
  • “I’m all ears.”
  • “That’s like comparing apples and oranges.”
  • “Let’s bury the hatchet”
  • “When push comes to shove”
  • “Happy as a clam”
  • “Let’s give 110%”
  • “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water”
  • and many more

If you’ve said or heard any of those expressions in the last month, you might get a kick out of this book. But just so you know, you won’t learn about the history or origins of these expressions. This isn’t History 101, this is recess.

So kick off your shoes (not literally, that might hurt someone) and enjoy a fun, easy read that will forever change the way you look at these common expressions.

More Feedback on the Book from Amazon Reviews

“…very enjoyable. Funny, witty, smart.” – pho3nixmatt

“Absolutely fantastic! A must read for anyone who wants a good laugh.” – Angeldolphin01

“This book will put a smile on your face and a new twist on expressions you’ve always heard.” – David

“Every page hits my funny bone square-on!” – Susan T.

“Everything you love about the silly things we say wrapped up in a little package.” – C. Young

“You may not be able to say any of these expressions again without laughing” – Joe B.

The Fine Print

*For orders outside of the U.S., please email with the Package you would like. You will get a response with purchase instructions within 24 hours.

***PA residents will be charged a 6% sales tax.