No one likes recording a voicemail greeting.
You desperately want to get it right the first time, because you ARE NOT the kind of person who re-records their greeting 9 times until it sounds just right.
I refuse to be that shallow!
But at the same time, you really do want to get it right. So this happens…
Attempt #1 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message after the beep and I’ll get back to you. And then you listen to it and realize you were talking just a little too fast. And what’s with the “after the beep” thing? Isn’t that understood at this point?
Attempt #2 – Hey this is Bryan…leave me a message…and I’ll get back to you when I can. Okay, that was a little TOO slow. Sounded like a pre-recorded ransom note. A little too Mel Gibson-ish.
Attempt #3 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you when I get around to it. When I get around to it??? Who am I, Simon Cowell? And who gave me permission to start going off-script?
Attempt #4 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message and I’ll try to get back to you as soon as I can. Have a great day! Wow, I overcompensated with the niceness WAY too much. Have a great day? What am I, a Wal-Mart greeter? And did I really need to squeeze a “try” in there? Is it that hard to get back in touch with someone that there’s a chance I could try and fail?
Attempt #5 – Hey this is Bryan, I can’t come to the phone right now, but you can leave me a message and why did I say that I couldn’t come to the phone right now, does anyone really care why i didn’t pick up… Let’s try that again.
Attempt #6 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you when I freaking want to. How does THAT make you feel, sucker? What are you gonna do now, go cry to your mommy? Okay, that was as funny as I thought it would be. Sadly, I can’t use it because I don’t have the balls to leave it on there.
Attempt #7 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. The script was perfect, but my gosh, how is it possible for someone to sound so pathetic in less than 20 words? If I was a caller, I would just hang up on me and permanently delete my contact info and all memories of me from my entire life. I really should have used the first recording.
Attempt #8 – Hey this is Bryan, hope you’re having a great day. Leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you soon. Thanks, bye. Hope you’re having a great day? Saying “thanks” and “bye”? What am I, your overbearing mother? Maybe I should have thrown an “I love you so much, pumpkin!” in there too. Geesh.
Attempt #9 – Hey, this is Bryan, leave me a message after the beep. Screw it, I’m using it.
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So let us know in the comments…Are you a once and done voicemail greeting recorder? Or do you go a few rounds to get it just right?
Oh, and have you ever left a message on someone’s voicemail and then listened to it, hated it, and re-recorded it? Yeah, me either.
Coming Monday…the 10 worst voicemail greetings to have on your phone.
Posted by Bryan AllainTags: Voicemail greetings, Voicemails
if it’s dorky, i’ve done it, so i’ve checked, rerecorded, edited and started over plenty of times.
p.s. can’t believe you used the word “prick”.
When I have to leave an out of office message I usually have to record it a few times because I get distracted and mess up the date or who to call or get my assistants phone number wrong.
I can’t even tell you what my cell phone messages says since it’s around 7 years old. It’s probably something stupid and it’s safe to assume I recorded it more than once.
There are probably people who wish I would re-record some messages I leave because I tend to ramble on & on, but I’ve never done that. I’d probably mess it up and end up leaving someone multiple messages.
I was thinking the other day that Cell Phone companies could probably get rid of the automated woman-voice that tells you how to leave a voicemail after hearing your greeting. (“To leave a message, wait for the beep, then begin recording your message. When you’re finished, you can just hang up.” Oh really, is that how voice mail works now?) If they got rid of that technology, they could put the money used for that to something like, oh, I don’t know, work on how to stop dropping my calls.
I’m a once and done kind of gal, and I’m not totally sure what my outgoing message says now since I recorded it like 5 years ago, but I do know that it starts out with, “Hello, hello!” all cheery-like. And I know that because:
1. People start their messages to me in the same cheery “Hello, hello!”
2. I had a student once who LOVED my outgoing message. She would call me 3 times just to listen to it and then leave a message on the 4th call. I teach English as a 2nd language to adults, by the way, so don’t be weirded out by that. She may have just needed to listen to the message 4 times to understand it.
I wish I could let it go after one try, but mine is a lot more like yours. And I have to include my business info for my band, so it’s extra awkward. I can’t even begin to explain how many attempts I went through on THAT one.
I’m tempted to just go with the robot voice that tells the number and just leave it at that.
I do a few rounds of it, but usually unrecorded. I say it five or six times until it sounds right.
All through high school I had the same message…and even though I don’t remember what it said, every time someone would leave me a message (if they were friends or family) they would always start off saying something like “wow…you sounded really excited….anyway, this is so and so…” and then they’d leave their message. I’m a little OCD so I rerecord it probably once a year
I sound so retarded on my own voicemails that I usually just stick to the operator recorded defaults. Sometimes I have to at least record my name and even that sounds retarded. I cringe when I hear my voice on other people’s voicemails. Do you ever realize how wierd your voice sounds? Is that really what other people hear when I talk? If so… man I feel sorry for them.
I have a friend, we’ll call him “Bob,” who’s message goes like this:
“Hi this is Bob. You just missed me, so leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”
I’ve given him a hard time about this for several year now. I just missed you? How do you know I just missed you. This is your outgoing voicemail, you have no idea whether you just missed me or not. Your battery may have died while your phone is trapped in that impossible crevice in your car and you haven’t seen your phone in days. In that case I haven’t come anywhere close to catching you.
I strongly dislike feeling like I’m being lied to by voicemail.
so i like to take the extra step in dorkiness and write out what im going to say. thats right….i have a script. ill only re-record if i sound liked a hopped-up spaz or a sad clown.
i also have in my message for people to “text me if you can” b/c i HATE listening to voicemails. why go through the process of having voicemails when its so much easier to just send a text?
if I’ve had to leave someone a message, and didn’t want to forget something, i definitely wrote notes.
Then again, I’m the same guy who made a list of things to talk about before calling a girl for the first time in 7th grade.
Clearly I have issues.
You are not the only one who did that. Or might still.
I once I had a message that at the end said “Aloha” – no I’m not hawaiian. I was just trying to be different.
Everyone of my friends ends their voicemail with God Bless You or have a wonderful / blessed day.
I try to be different. It’s tiresome. I want a voicemail that has some crazy dude’s voice on the end. I’d just get tired of hearing the same thing as everyone else. Honestly.
Funny. I may or may not have done that in the past.
Now, mine usually is “Hey, this is Kevin. Leave a message.” Simple, brief, to the point…and non-commital. It gives me a lot of wiggle room as to when (or if) I respond.
I have a friend who has a random question that she likes to add to the end of her voicemail.. ie: Would you rather ride on a camel or an elephant?
She changes it up every few months and it always makes leaving voicemails more entertaining.
In other news I discovered http://www.oldspicevoicemail.com where you can have the old spice man say your voicemial recording for you! You know you love his voice…
I hate recording an outgoing voicemail message. I’m one of those who does about 20 takes before she leaves it alone.
I’m still not sure why. It’s not like it’ll ever earn me an Academy Award.