No one likes recording a voicemail greeting.
You desperately want to get it right the first time, because you ARE NOT the kind of person who re-records their greeting 9 times until it sounds just right.
I refuse to be that shallow!
But at the same time, you really do want to get it right. So this happens…
Attempt #1 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message after the beep and I’ll get back to you. And then you listen to it and realize you were talking just a little too fast. And what’s with the “after the beep” thing? Isn’t that understood at this point?
Attempt #2 – Hey this is Bryan…leave me a message…and I’ll get back to you when I can. Okay, that was a little TOO slow. Sounded like a pre-recorded ransom note. A little too Mel Gibson-ish.
Attempt #3 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you when I get around to it. When I get around to it??? Who am I, Simon Cowell? And who gave me permission to start going off-script?
Attempt #4 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message and I’ll try to get back to you as soon as I can. Have a great day! Wow, I overcompensated with the niceness WAY too much. Have a great day? What am I, a Wal-Mart greeter? And did I really need to squeeze a “try” in there? Is it that hard to get back in touch with someone that there’s a chance I could try and fail?
Attempt #5 – Hey this is Bryan, I can’t come to the phone right now, but you can leave me a message and why did I say that I couldn’t come to the phone right now, does anyone really care why i didn’t pick up… Let’s try that again.
Attempt #6 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you when I freaking want to. How does THAT make you feel, sucker? What are you gonna do now, go cry to your mommy? Okay, that was as funny as I thought it would be. Sadly, I can’t use it because I don’t have the balls to leave it on there.
Attempt #7 – Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. The script was perfect, but my gosh, how is it possible for someone to sound so pathetic in less than 20 words? If I was a caller, I would just hang up on me and permanently delete my contact info and all memories of me from my entire life. I really should have used the first recording.
Attempt #8 – Hey this is Bryan, hope you’re having a great day. Leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you soon. Thanks, bye. Hope you’re having a great day? Saying “thanks” and “bye”? What am I, your overbearing mother? Maybe I should have thrown an “I love you so much, pumpkin!” in there too. Geesh.
Attempt #9 – Hey, this is Bryan, leave me a message after the beep. Screw it, I’m using it.
So let us know in the comments…Are you a once and done voicemail greeting recorder? Or do you go a few rounds to get it just right?
Oh, and have you ever left a message on someone’s voicemail and then listened to it, hated it, and re-recorded it? Yeah, me either.
Coming Monday…the 10 worst voicemail greetings to have on your phone.