15 Rumors About Jon Acuff’s Next Gig

Like some of you, I found out this morning that my friend Jon Acuff is no longer with the Dave Ramsey organization.

I’m sure the truth of the situation is much less interesting than the rumors folks are going to make up over the coming weeks, so why not add some good stuff to the rumor mill?

Feel free to spread these far and wide.

15 Rumors About Jon Acuff’s Next Gig

1. He’s becoming a falconer – I guess he just couldn’t waste any more time.

2. He’s joining the Newsies on Broadway – he won’t have a speaking role, but if you squint hard enough you’ll see that chap in the back row popping and locking like a champ.

3. He’s Living Out one of his Dreams – probably this one:

4. He’s taking a job at General Mills as their Bugles’ Spokesperson – They were so impressed with the response to this tweet, they made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. (an offer involving a lifetime supply of Lucky Charms.)

5. He’s the new starting QB for the Jacksonville Jaguars – Word is, he beat out Tim Tebow, Mark Brunell, and Y.A. Tittle in a closed tryout last week.

6. He’s becoming a lifeguard at his local pool – Because the kids in his neighborhood deserve better:

7. He was hired as an Account Specialist for MasterCard – Incited by this tweet, they offered him ten times what Ramsey was paying him, a company BMW, and no interest on his credit cards for life. I guess everyone has a price.

8. He’s becoming a coal miner – because he just seems like that type of guy.

9. He’s the new spokesman for Gordo’s Queso – Sure, he’s going to balloon to 465 pounds, but it’s not work when you’re speaking truth about something you love.

10. He is a full-time torso model for H&M – no V-neck will hit the rack without first being tweaked and altered upon his chest. They’ll even use his “5 Stages of V-Necks” material in their sales copy and display signage.

11. He’s a full time Bear Prophet – we should have known once he put it on his resume last month.

12. He’s the new opening act for comedian John Crist – So much of his act was standup already…the only adjustment will be going from crowds of 1500 to crowds of 15. (I kid because I care, John Crist.)

13. He’s writing a book with a visual artist, that mixes the words with the images like Girl Talk mixes songs – just a hunch.

14. He’s going to write steamy Amish fiction under the pen name, Jona Cuff – Perhaps this tweet was his way of warning us.

15. He’s going back to Auto-Trader – He misses writing copy for used Acuras so much, he’s going to go back to the cubicle and eventually write another NYT bestseller called, Un-Quitter: Re-opening the gap between your day job and dream job.

So go ahead, spread one of these fantastic rumors today! (and add one of your own in the comments.)

Or better yet, wait for him to officially address it on his time.

(Wishing you all the best, Jon!)

UPDATE: Here’s Jon’s official statement on leaving his company, in case you’re interested.