Time for another edition of quotes that have never been uttered.
10 More Sentences No One Has Ever Said
1. The things I love most about elections are the yard signs and facebook comments.
2. Let’s spend the next 90 minutes talking about who you should start as the second running back on your fantasy team this weekend.
3. In my opinion, foreplay isn’t great unless Doritos are involved.
4. The only reason I bought this extremely expensive watch was because of that magazine ad featuring Landon Donovan doing a bicycle kick.
5. I’ll have the greek salad covered in crumbled oreos and fingernails…and please hold the lettuce.
6. Did you guys see the lease terms on that newest Honda Commercial? Mind-blowing!
7. Barry Bonds gave me a piggyback ride today because he said that frolicking like a fairy is more fun that hitting homers.
8. No, seriously, let go of my Eggo.
9. Let’s give your grandmother a call to find out more about the fiscal cliff.
10. I’m resolving to experience more toe stubs and accidental tongue biting in 2013.
You can read past editions of Sentences No One Has Ever Said here.