42 Starbucks Flavor FAILS

Every October I share with you, my dear readers, the list of Starbucks flavors that didn’t make the cut.

This October will be no different, as my spies are already deep inside the mermaid’s lair sneaking out illegal copies of R&D notebooks and taste test samples.

In the meantime, I thought I’d refresh your memory on some of the past flavor bombs that we’ve uncovered.

From the first 21 Flavor Fails:

4. Feather Blend – From the beaches of Florida to the parks of Manhattan, we filter every majestic cup of this blend through a bed of discarded bird feathers to give you a cup of joe that will make your taste buds soar.

7. Columbian Gutter – 100% columbian beans are roasted and brewed to perfection and then poured onto the roof of our building so that it can run through our gutters and into a makeshift carafe in the parking lot. Then we bring that carafe inside and treat you to a mug of coffee bliss.

8. Ear Candle Harvest – Not for the faint of heart, this October favorite starts strong and finishes stronger. *a medical waiver must be signed before consuming Ear Candle Harvest.

16. Circus Peanut Jubilee – Hold the Splenda on this cup…in fact, you might want to add some lemon juice or malic acid to counter the extraordinary sweetness of this brew. Served with 2 circus peanuts floating in your cup and a side of insulin.

And from last year’s 21 Flavor Fails:

3. Kona and Koins – what do you get when you mix Hawaii’s finest beans with change from the cash registers of Hawaii’s finest convenience stores? This intoxicating blend of coffee, copper, and hand germs. Drink up!

10. Hockey Pad Drizzle – If you’re not a fan of salty coffee, you might want to sit out this shift.

17. Antique Drapes – Hints of mold, mildew, and ancient dust dance in your mouth as you drink in this Victorian cup of wonder. One sip will whisk you away to a house built in the 1800s filled with spiders and a heavy sense of impending doom.

Enjoy that cup of joe and have a great weekend everyone!