The Amish Hair-Cutting Attacks

If you had hired me last week to write 100 ridiculous stories about the Amish community, I’m pretty sure I would have eventually come up with this one.

And yet it’s not a fake piece written for The Onion. It’s a true story reported by The New York Times, among others.

I won’t reproduce the whole article here, but some highlights…

From the New York Times piece:

“Mr. Miller, 45, a stocky construction worker and an Amish bishop in the peaceful farmlands of eastern Ohio, found five or six men waiting (outside his door).”

As if the guy isn’t already beaten up enough, did you have to call him “stocky”‘?

“Some grabbed him and wrestled him outside as others hacked at his long black beard with scissors, clipping off six inches. As Mr. Miller kept struggling, his wife screamed at the children to call 911, and the attackers fled. “

Notice it wasn’t, “saddle up the horses and go get help!” There’s a reason we like the conveniences of modern technology. And that’s why many Amish families do have a phone in the house, or at least a phone shed somewhere on there property.

“Sheriffs and Amish leaders in the region had come to expect trouble from the Bergholz group. It is said to be led with an iron hand by Sam Mullet, a prickly 66-year-old man who had become bitterly estranged from mainstream Amish communities and had had several confrontations with the Jefferson County sheriff. “

A prickly 66-year old named Sam Mullet is cutting off the hair and beards of fellow Amish folks? Let me guess, does he have sons named Lester Mullet and Johnny Mullet too?

Yes, apparently he does.

Then there was this interesting note from a similar story on Yahoo! News:

“This year, members of Amish communities in Ohio who federal prosecutors say lost millions in an investment deal operated by a fellow Amish man asked a judge to let them settle the matter out of court. The judge rejected the request.”

How do you settle the matter of being swindled out of millions of dollars “out of court”?

Not sure I want to know.

Crazy story, and I hope the FBI steps in and arrests the guilty for hate crimes like they are thinking of doing.

Yes, I poke fun at the Amish here sometimes, but that’s because I poke fun of lots of folks, including myself. But there’s nothing funny about having your personal rights violated like that, and I hope justice is served (preferably with a cutting edge tech gadget like a Taser).