More Angry Letters

Dear Email Spammers,

I don’t care about the Swiss Lotto, cheap Cialis, or the plight of an investor in the Kingdom of Bahrain looking for some money.

And I really think you’re overestimating the number of men who would buy pills from a spam email to alter their genitals.

Thanks for wasting time, bandwidth, and the decency of the human race with your lies.

Angrily yours, Bryan

PS – I pray that all your computers get infected with digital STDs.

Dear Lady Who Insisted on Waiting Until We Boarded the Plane to Eat the Onion-Laden Sandwich,

I saw you.

You were sitting at the gate for AT LEAST 20 minutes holding that TGI Friday’s bag.

You had plenty of time to scarf down that Italian sub with extra onions and peppers while you were reading that J.D. Robb novel.

But no, instead of eating that stinkbomb in the well-ventilated open space of Gate D9 you chose to wait until we were tightly packed into a thin metal cylinder with poor circulation.

Thanks so much for sharing! There’s nothing I want more at the beginning of a 2.5-hour flight than to be overcome with the smell of an airport restaurant grinder.

Angrily yours, Bryan

PS – If I get sick on this plane I’m using your lap as a barf bag.

How about you?

You guys kill this every time we do it. Got any more angry letter you need to write?

The floor is yours.