9 Reasons Not to Eat Out on Sunday Afternoon: A Jeremy Statton Guest Post

This is a guest post from my friend Jeremy Statton. We did not grow up together, but we do blog on the same internet, which should count for something. Also, I think he might be a doctor, so there’s that. Here’s Jeremy…

My wife and I have made the decision that eating out on Sunday is just not our thing.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve tried to make it work.

We’ve tried telling ourselves that it will be fun and that the kids will be good, and we will be happy with ourselves when it is over…but these are just lies. Lies we tell ourselves because we want so badly for them to be true.

And they are SO not true.

Let me explain.

9 Reasons Not To Eat Out on Sunday Afternoon

1. Spillage – Every dinner has its moment of a spilled drink. Experienced parents will order clear drinks like water or Sprite or watered down unicorn urine. No matter how hard your kid pleads for fruit punch, it is critical to resist…but you never do.

2. Indecision – After spending an eternity trying to get the kids to choose between chicken fingers and pizza, they will inevitably change their minds 5 seconds after the server has taken your order and disappeared.

3. Inconvenience – Kids never choose to go to the bathroom at a convenient time. When traveling they will decide that they can’t hold it any longer right after you pass the last rest stop for 100 miles. Just when the food is brought out one of the kids will suddenly need to poop.

4. Technology – iPads are a promising solution to a noisy lunch, but this will only work if each kid has their own. Despite the long speech in the care about sharing with each other, there will be a fight about whose turn it is and how life is not fair.

5. More spillage

6. Grumpiness – After breaking up fights, making “no touching” rules, taking away knives, and spending fifteen minutes looking for a lost child your patience is spent. Yelling will happen. And just like that the newly married, young assistant pastor seated in the corner booth who has yet to become a parent will begin planning a sermon series on child discipline.

7. Embarrassment – Yelling can be awkward, but at some point something worse will happen. This embarrassing moment can range from one of the kids squirting ketchup on someone to a stranger being told they have bad breath to something you can’t even imagine living through.

8. Whining – Just when things seem to settle down and you finally get to being a conversation the whining begins. “Can we go now? What is taking so long? This is so boring. I have to poop again”

9. Crying – This could be you. This could be the kids. But there will always be crying.

Instead of playing this game we often choose to just invite people over to our house.

My wife cooks a nice lunch, our guests bring a delightful dessert, we lock the kids in their rooms, and the adults get to enjoy uninterrupted conversation.

What about you?

Any horror stories from taking kids out to eat on a Sunday?

And if you’re a Sunday morning worshiper, what do you do for lunch after church?

For more Jeremy, check out his blog, Confessions of a Legalist.

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  • http://nicodemusatnite.com Charlie Chang

    Solid points. We will come home, let the kids take their naps and then go over to grandma’s.

    I love #6. And this extends to anyone who don’t have children. Routine routine routine.

    nicodemusatnite.com

    • http://www.jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      Naps + Grandma’s house = Awesome.

  • http://guidetowomen.wordpress.com/ sharideth smith

    my kids have more or less outgrown the spillage and stranger assault, but that means they have just moved into the turning-complaining-into-an-Olympic-Sport phase.

    i’m pretty sure my 13 year old daughter can roll her eyes 360 degrees.

    we still eat out on sunday, but my kids behave under pain of death.

    • http://www.jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      My kids are ages 9 months to 11 years, so we see everything.

      • http://nicodemusatnite.com Charlie Chang

        You’re a better man than I am sir. Me and my wife are worn out on only having a 4 year old and 1 year old.

  • http://robrash.us Rob Rash

    Good stuff… and so true.

    We;ve decided to go out to eat with other folks from church to try to build relationships with them. It does get rather difficult with a 4 year old and 12 month twins.

    Sometimes the conversation revolves around quieting the kids or telling them ‘no.! We just don’t have time to get the house ready and lunch, being a pastor has its limitations!

    But the ‘inconvenience’ (peeing at the wrong time) is a huge one. Especially when your kid wants to touch everything in the dirty restaurant bathroom!!!

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      That makes me think of that awkward moment when your kid drops something in the toilet and you have to decide what to do. Go after it or leave it for the next guy?

  • Amanda

    Another reason for some people not eating out on Sunday is to observe “the day of rest.” They won’t visit any business on Sunday as they feel it is wrong to make people work that day.

    Our family rarely dines out after church, but we almost always get take-out on the way home. That way we all get out of our good clothes, everyone can use the bathroom on their own if needed, and we don’t have to worry about being embarrassed by the kids. Plus, it’s a break from cooking for me!

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      We do take out on Sundays too. We love Jimmy John’s. Good sandwiches plus the smells are free.

  • http://arnyslight.blogspot.com ARNY

    I’m potty training my 3 year old power ranger boy….enough said…take your 9 reason and multiply them by 100! lol…

    Great Post…

  • http://projectawaken.com Darrell

    I don’t have any kids, so all of my single friends and I are the people in horror on the other side of the restaurant.

    Also — where can i get this watered down unicorn urine?? I bet it gives you super powers like flying.

    • http://www.theoquest.blogspot.com Mike Andrews

      And rainbow vision!

      • http://projectawaken.com Darrell

        YEAH!!! Whatever that is, I want that too!

  • http://www.randomlychad.com randomlychad

    The best reason not to eat out on Sundays? It makes S. Truett Cathy apoplectic. ;-)

    With a 12yo & a 4yo, we’ve been there & done that. Since our church has a café, & we now attend Saturday night service, we get to enjoy a nice dinner with friends while the kids run wild & play. Getting them to actually eat is another story. ;-)

    • http://www.jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      They don’t eat, and then when you get home they are finally hungry and then you find that the only things you have in the house is either ice cream or this Sunday chocolate bunnies, so they have candy for dinner.

    • http://www.theoquest.blogspot.com Mike

      They don’t really need food do they?

      They can tough it out ’til Monday, when Chick-fil-A opens, right?

  • http://thewholedangthing.wordpress.com JBen

    This is one of those things I think will never happen to me. No kids yet but I like to think that I can learn from all of you crazy people and have it all figured out by the time I do.

    I think I can do it. Lists like these are going to be my new bible.

    • http://www.jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

      “Thou Shalt not Whine.” Love it.

  • http://www.theoquest.blogspot.com Mike

    Sometimes, we just ditch the kids at home with a loaf of bread and enjoy a meal somewhere without unicorns.

    Sometimes, it’s tough to withstand the glares of the other parents who know we’ve left our kids somewhere else while they’re fighting with their own, but it’s worth it.

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy’s Confessions

      Just turn the TV on and they should be good for for a few hours.

  • http://allisonlh.wordpress.com Allison

    I don’t have kids, but my friends do, so we get to deal with the choose-a-restaurant-for-more-refined-palates-that-also-serves-chicken-fingers aspect. Add in the fact that several of my friends are not originally from the U.S. and do not operate on the Western “5 minutes early is late” principle, and Sunday lunch becomes an all-afternoon affair. My roommates wonder why I rarely eat dinner on Sunday nights. Despite all of this, Sunday lunch marathons are quite enjoyable.

  • http://www.mbcarreno.wordpress.com Mary Beth

    We only have one son who is now 5, so eating out isn’t really a huge problem, plus we rarely get babysitters, so he’s been frequenting restaurants for 5 years so he can hang. We’ve actually had people ask us when he is going to act up :) He surely does pick inopportune moments to have to pee and poop though!!!

    We worship on Sunday mornings and generally come home and cook a big breakfast where we usually invite over a couple of the early 20′s crew from our church…always fun times!

    • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy’s Confessions

      Our kids always wait until its an emergency. I have learned the hard way that as soon as a kid mentions the potty I had better get find the nearest bathroom.

  • http://projectawaken.com Darrell

    Ok — It is definitely Friday afternoon and there is a kid at the table next to be in the cafe I am in. He is screaming bloody murder. I think you need to re-name your post — 9 reasons I dont ever want to take my kids in public.

  • http://www.mybloggerconfessions.blogspot.com Sherry

    My husband, 2 year old son and I were eating at our favorite Greek restaurant one afternoon. Our son loved spaghetti at that time–LOVED spaghetti. He loved this particular bowl of spaghetti so much that he scarfed it down in record time. Within five minutes, he vomited it all back up. He didn’t just vomit either, he projectile vomited. The family beside us let their disgust be known pretty loudly. We were mortified.

  • http://nantuckettiechic.com nantuckettiechic

    All reasons why we never eat out on Sunday afternoon. Also, we live on an island and there are no Chick-fil-as etc. My kids didn’t try Mcdonald’s until they went on a Youth Retreat to America. We take our six darlin’s on a walk in the woods Sunday afternoon. They can run and yell and hide and pop out at us all they like. Although the ‘I have to go pee’ problem still exists.

  • http://www.joerob.com Joseph

    The mere thought of young kids with sticky fingers covered in food and boogers all over an iPad screen makes me cringe. Plus when you add the spillage factor, it’s just not worth the mess and risk to your $500+ investment.

  • http://micksgrill.wordpress.com Mike

    Most places need to do a better job in providing stuff for kids to do. McDonald’s have the monopoly on playgrounds. Would help if restaurants had an ample supply of iPads for kids to play Elmo ABC on… failing that Xbox Kinect to tire the kids out on the way home. Just a thought

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