Speidi Back Together Thanks To Gun Detainment?

Read this recent AP article today and couldn’t help myself.

The article is in black, my comments are in blue.

Associated Press (LOS ANGELES) – Spencer Pratt says his 12-hour detainment at a Costa Rica airport for arms possession has given him a chance at reconciliation with wife Heidi Montag.

And really, who can count the number of relationships that have been saved in the 11th hour by a detainment in a South American airport for weapons possession?

Montag stood by him during what he called the “wildest day ever of either of our lives” and sparked hope that she might drop her divorce filing, Pratt said Monday.

No, I’m gonna say that the 15-minute marriage ceremony in Mexico with no friends or family members present still tops the list. This is definitely Top 5 though.

“It was clear we’re soulmates. I don’t see any reason we can’t get back on track,” he said in Los Angeles after Saturday’s incident.

Yes. Before this ordeal we weren’t sure, but now that you’ve been detained in a Costa Rican prison for illegal arms possession it is as clear as day. We belong together forever…in a rundown jail.

Police in San Jose, Costa Rica, said the couple were briefly detained at the airport for illegal arms possession after security officers found two unloaded handguns in their luggage. Pratt and Montag hadn’t declared the weapons and lacked permits to have them in Costa Rica, police said.

After questioning, they were released and allowed to leave the country, police said Monday.

Or more accurately, “after questioning, they were released and ordered to leave the country immediately and never return.”

The couple met on MTV’s popular reality series “The Hills” and their April 2009 wedding was featured on the show. Montag, 23, cited irreconcilable differences in her July divorce filing, which Pratt says won’t become final until early next year.

She indicated Monday she might have a change of heart.

Honestly, it’s great to hear that she’s thinking about things and considering staying together. The last thing this couple needs is to make rash decisions based on their emotions. As long as they don’t start taking life second by second, they might make it.

“As far as I’m concerned the last thing in the world after everything we have just been through is to go through with this divorce,” Montag said in a text message. “But we are just taking life second by second.”

Oh, nevermind.

In a phone call, she praised Jesus for their release.

That’s Jesus for you. Always there to release people from prison who carry illegal weapons concealed in their luggage. He did the same thing for Paul that one time, didn’t he?

Pratt, 27, said he’d gone on a jungle retreat in Costa Rica for self-improvement and to convince Montag he could give up his fixation with fame (“Heidi gets sick of that,” he said). Montag stayed at a nearby villa while he roughed it for a month, taking an occasional break from nature, Pratt said.

Okay, where to begin…

1. Taking guns into the Costa Rican jungle for self-improvement…why didn’t I think of that as a way to better myself?

2. Would a jungle retreat really be enough to convince Montag that he could give up his fixation with fame? Especially since the whole time they were out there he kept mumbling under his breath, “wait until TMZ gets wind of this jungle retreat”.

3. Just to be clear, Montag is not sick of the fame, she is sick of Pratt’s fixation with fame. Big difference.

4. So she’s staying in a lush villa and then out in the backyard Spencer is “roughing it” with his guns to prove to her that he’s not fixated with fame.  This makes total sense.

5. Who exactly was taking the break from nature, Heidi or Spencer? And what were the occasional breaks from nature for? To use the bathroom? To update his blog? Conjugal visits? Sleeping on a comfy king mattress?

He brought the 9MM and 45MM handguns and ammunition with him as protection, traveling by private jet to and from Costa Rica with the guns locked in his luggage, Pratt said.

Yes, because anyone who travels on private jets to resorts with villas without multiple handguns is just asking for it.

“I wouldn’t have gone on a commercial flight” with weapons, he said. “I wouldn’t be that reckless.”

You, who just last year referred to 9/11 as “an inside job” reckless? Who got married while drunk in Mexico reckless? No way.

After returning to California together, Pratt asked Montag if he could join her at a fundraising walk for cancer last weekend. She agreed, and now Pratt wants to keep the magic alive with his wife, whose forays into plastic surgery have made her a tabloid favorite.

Not sure what I love about this paragraph more.

A) That back from his fame purge in the jungle of Costa Rica, Pratt makes an appearance with his separated wife at a Cancer walk.

or B) That Heidi’s multiple plastic surgeries are described as a “foray”. That’s usually how people describe someone’s new career or hobby. People have forays into collecting art or playing live music, not cosmetic facial reconstruction.

Noting that Montag’s 24th birthday is Wednesday, Pratt said he hoped to use the occasion to “sweep her off her feet.”

Call me a glutton for punishment, but I’m in your corner Spencer. Here’s to hoping it works out!