Here at BryanAllain.com we don’t revel in the sanctity of a marriage ceremony. No way. We get nerdy and cold, rating weddings on a scale of 1 to 50 like a gymnastics routine. We call this the CROME Wedding Rating System. You can read more about it here.
The Wedding of Nathan Cool and Elsbeth Potter.
(yeah, his last name is “Cool”. instant WIN.)
We’ve known Elsbeth (or “Elf” as everyone calls her) for a handful of years now. She’s good at unpacking complex statements in small group and breaking my sunglasses on her wedding day (which she did, by the way). We’ve only known Nate for a year or so, but he’s good peoples.
They got married on Saturday. This is their CROME score.
C is for Ceremony
The Ceremony was outside. It was roughly 90 degrees, give or take a heat stroke. The sun was holding a magnifying in front of itself and giggling like it was high. The guy in front of me opted for a dark blue button-down with no undershirt, and before the wedding had even started it looked like someone had exploded a water balloon on his spine. As you can tell, I’m not a fan of outdoor weddings in months that start with ‘J’. The only thing that kept this score from going sub-5 was that they handed out little fans to everyone and that the ceremony itself was on the shorter side. 6 out of 10.
R is for Reception
The sun had eased off by the time the reception came, which made for a beautiful evening. As the emcee of the reception, I had the privilege of announcing the wedding party and doing all that other crap I love to do. There was no slide show, no cake cutting, and no removal of a garter, but there was an amazing first dance (see pic) and some entertaining toasts. Highlight of the reception for me was when I grabbed the iPod and played DJ for a few songs. The rush I got when I started “Forever” by Chris Brown and everyone cheered will be something I’ll take to my grave. Also, I danced for over an hour like a champ. Good times. 9 out of 10.
O is for Others
We knew a bunch of people at the wedding from church. They be good peoples, and it’s always fun to be getting your groove on to “SexyBack” with people you’re normally singing “How Great is our God” with. Plus Nate was there from Texas, Chris was there from Portland, and Derek was there from Denver, so it turned into a mini reunion of sorts for a bunch of friends. 8 out of 10.
M is for Meal
Cheese, crackers, ham, and salad. Not your typical fare for a wedding reception, which knocks the score down a smidgen for me. Then again, the salad was fantastic and the lack of steak or chicken kept me light on my feet when the Black Eyed Peas came on. 7 out of 10.
E is for Exit
There was no receiving line. There was no row by row dismissal. There was just a “you can all get up now”. If you know me, you know there’s nothing I love more than this. 10 out of 10.
Final CROME Rating – 40 out of 50 (which, according to the CROME Guidelines means “You had a great time and would do it all again next weekend if you had the chance.” Sounds about right.)
Congrats Nate and Elf!!!
and remember, if you go to a wedding this summer, give it a CROME rating and let us know about it!