Cannarf Reviews: Hear No Evil by Matthew Paul Turner

Author: Matthew Paul Turner

Book Name: Hear No Evil

I’m Glad it Wasn’t Called: Marry Me Amy Grant, You Smoking Hot Vixen of Gospel

Book Synopsis in Twitteresque 140 characters or less: From childhood dreams of being the Christian Michael Jackson to facilitating others’ dreams at a coffeehouse, MPT’s playlist is a fun read.

Where I Bought It: I didn’t. It was sent to me by Matthew himself. Or maybe it was his publisher. I was hoping it would be autographed with raven’s blood, but it wasn’t. Instead I drew a mustache and goatee on the kid in the cover picture with red ink to make him look like a nerdy devil boy.

Paid for With: This blog post. Which I probably should have posted a month or two ago. I guess I owe them interest or something.

How Long it Took Me to Read: Just under a month. It wasn’t the kind of compelling read that kept beckoning me to “come read another chapter” (I could probably say that about most memoirs), but every time I sat down with the book I was happy I did. Plus at 225 pages it’s not pointlessly long, either.

Who I WOULD NOT recommend this book to: Matthew’s writing isn’t for everyone, because if you think about it, nobody’s writing is for everyone. So basically that last sentence wasted 5 seconds of your life. But this book won’t waste your life, because good memoirs help you learn something about yourself. So I would NOT recommend this book to people who did not want to learn about themselves. For those people I would recommend therapy.

Who I WOULD recommend this book to: People with a good sense of humor, anyone who grew up listening to Christian music, and other white kids who grew up striving to be the Christian Michael Jackson. I would also recommend this book to Amy Grant because Matthew really digs her and if she ever is having a bad day all she needs to do is crack open this bad boy and realize there’s a nerdy devil boy out there who thinks she’s amazing.

What I used for a bookmark: A mini-flyer for the Andy Osenga show I put on last month, just so I could name drop Andy Osenga in this post.

What were some interesting true stories from the book: I enjoyed the bits about Ms. Lansing, the piano teacher who challenged Matthew to use his imagination. And the scene at Sea World where Matthew was blocking his ears to drown out the devilish syncopated beat still makes me laugh. My favorite stuff though, is probably near the end of the book when Matthew becomes editor of CCM Magazine, just because I used to LOVE reading CCM.

What were some interesting true stories NOT from the book: The story about the time that I met Matthew at a blogger meet-up in Atlanta was interesting, but it was not in the book because the book had already been written. I’m hoping it makes it his next book, Bryan Has a Big Nose in Real Life Too.

Expectations Going In: I really enjoyed Matthew’s last book, Churched, so I had fairly high expectations that this would be equally entertaining.

Cannarf Rating: I was expecting a great read and lucky for me (and all of us), Matthew delivered once again. As someone who has attempted to write a funny memoir, I know a little bit about the degree of difficulty involved. It ain’t easy to tell your stories AND be funny, folks. But Matthew does just that. Pretty sure you won’t be disappointed with this one. I was going to give him 2 cannarfs, but considering I owe him some interest, we’ll bump it up a bit. The Rating: +2.5 cannarfs. (what’s a cannarf?)

Have any of you read Hear No Evil? If so, what’s your cannarf rating?