Books I Didn’t Write is a recurring gag here at the blog. I take a random picture, come up with a title, and then write up a fake review.
Yes, it is as dumb as it sounds.
Nuclear War: Deadly but Pretty
by Bryan Allain
Publisher: Obliteration Press
Order Status: Annihilated
For Fans of: complete and utter destruction, losing your face, fireworks, carnage, high doses of radiation, scorched earth, missiles, World War IV, beautiful things that can hurt you, plutonium, uranium, your melted cranium, bright lights, and death.
Summary:Acclaimed heart surgeon and prize-winning journalist Bryan Allain makes a compelling case for the silver lining to the nuclear war mushroom cloud.
What People Are Saying:
“I used to be afraid of nuclear Armageddon, but after reading this book I’m looking forward to it!”
“Oftentimes it is the things that can hurt you that contain the most beauty. So it is with this magnificent collection of sentences. So painful. So poignant. So sexy.”
“With all the negative talk surrounding nuclear war these days, it’s good to find someone who can stay positive for a change. Allain tells it like it is from cover to cover, with a positive outlook on the next World War that should remind us all to put on a happy, pre-melted face.”
“The typical mushroom cloud is best viewed standing 50 kilometers from its center. Unfortunately at this distance, your brain would be nonexistent before you could process the breathtaking sight.”
“While the idea of strapping yourself to a launched nuclear missile seems fun, the chances of you surviving such a ride lie somewhere between zero and negative infinity.”
“If you still had eyes and a face twenty seconds into the nuclear blast, this would probably be your favorite part of the explosion.”
Awards: Most Depressing Book of the Year – Sad Magazine
People Who Liked This Book Also Enjoyed:
- Starting Pandemics for Fun and Profit
- 101 Party Games for your Bomb Shelter
- The Idiot’s Guide To Rebuilding Civilization
- Ninja Quest 5: The Uranium Enema