Welcome to Cliche Thursday, where each week we deconstruct 5 expressions that we’ve all become a little too familiar with and ask you for some of your own least favorites.
Here we go…
“Cry me a river” -I’m not convinced your body is capable of producing enough water to create a stream. I mean, even if your entire body mass turned to water, you’d be nothing more than a small puddle that an elephant could lick up in one suck.
Although I’ll put this out there. If you can somehow produce enough tears to form even a mini tributary, I’ll apologize for whatever I did to make you cry so hard.
“It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye” – at which point it’s still games, it’s just not much fun anymore.
I mean, I’m pretty good at the “Who Can Grab the Rolling Eyeball While it’s Owner Flails in Pain” game, but I wouldn’t call it ‘fun’.
“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” – You had me at “leg”.
“I’m keeping my eye on you” – and I know as long as my squishy, wet eyeball is touching the back of your arm you’ll be too grossed out to do anything stupid.
“Put your foot in your mouth” – What you said was so dumb, the only way for anyone to forget about it is for you to take off your shoe and sock and stick your bare foot into your own mouth, leaving us all confused and a little nauseous.
Actually, now that you’ve done it, I realize that was a mistake too.
You will forever be known as the flexible guy with weird toes who says stupid things.