If you work in an office you hear the same dumb exchanges all the time. These are expressions that people use over and over again that really don’t mean what they used to mean.
It’s enough to drive you crazy…or drive you to write a blog post.
Here’s some of my (least) favorites:
“Nothing new, man, Just Livin’ The Dream!”
yeah, we get it. this is not your dream job. and yet you work here. it’s more like a nightmare, right? That’s why this is funny, right? Truth is, I’m actually guilty of saying this from time to time. And like I said on Twitter yesterday, every time I say it I want to punch myself in the face.
“How was my weekend?… Not long enough!”
You mean 2 days away from work wasn’t enough time to complete a to-do list that’s longer than Psalm 119? You mean you prefer being in the comfort of your own home to being stuck in an office laboring beside people you’d rather not be around? Gee, i’ve never ever thought of how amazing life would be if I spent 5 days at home and 2 days at work. You’re right, my weekend wasn’t long enough either!
“I’ll tell you how it’s going, Same sh@!, Different Day.”
Wow, now there’s a new saying I’ve never heard. Oh wait, never mind, actually I have heard it before…every day for the last 10 years. In fact, you’re unoriginal cliched response is the “same poop” that everyone else is referring to when they say this same thing.
“Working Hard or Hardly Working?” (submitted via Twitter by Jeff Holland)
So let me get this straight, i have 2 options here? I’m either killing myself getting work done or not doing anything at all? Sorry, that’s not how I roll. I work at a steady pace. Stop trying to label me as a slacker or a workaholic with your cutesy questions and get back to work.
“Say hi to the wife and kids for me.” (submitted via Twitter by Ryan Dagen)
You know what? Probably not gonna do that. Because first of all, I don’t think you even know their names. And second of all, you remember when you almost got fired for those emails you sent about that intern? Well, I mentioned that to my wife and she wasn’t too thrilled with your behavior. So maybe it’s better off If I don’t pass those greetings along.
Besides, after reading Bryan Allain’s posts on The Middleman Hi earlier this year, I refuse to be the middleman in a Hi Exchange.