20 Things I've Never Seen

You’d think I’d have seen at least one of these things happen at one time or another.

But I haven’t.


  1. a dog pee on a fire hydrant.
  2. an undesirable box of Cheez-its.
  3. 4:30am on a clock and thought, “I’m glad I’m awake right now”.
  4. someone slip on a banana peel.
  5. a motorcycle that made me want to be a motorcycle guy.
  6. an octopus squirt ink on someone.
  7. a better show than LOST.
  8. someone get caught hiding an ace up their sleeve.
  9. a Chik-Fil-A, Barnes and Noble, or Dunkin Donuts that I didn’t want to stop at.
  10. Paula Abdul put together a coherent paragraph.
  11. a dog eat someone’s homework.
  12. the Yankees win the world series in this millennium.
  13. a car commercial that made me want to buy a car.
  14. a cat chase a mouse.
  15. a bunker shot that made me think, “Oh this will be an easy up and down”.
  16. someone get scared out of having the hiccups.
  17. you flare your nostrils. (are you flaring your nostrils? doesn’t matter. I can’t see it.)
  18. anyone actually eat a horse out of sheer hunger.
  19. steam come out of an angry person’s ears.
  20. a Sasquatch.

Please tell me some of you have actually seen one or more of these things. If so, let us know.