This post is for 5 specific people.
1. Anyone who has a DVR and hasn’t watched an actual commercial since 2006.
2. My friend Shawn who is not watching TV for the entire year, and blogging about it here: ShawnSmucker.blogspot.com
(Shawn’s a good guy and a great writer who’s ghost-written a couple books already in his young writing career. You should absolutely check out his blog.)
3. Tripp Crosby, who loves commercials and is also a good video editor. Perhaps he can explain the vocal changes.
4. Anyone who reads the Daily Beast on Sunday because it should have my first ever assigned writing story. Here’s the Link.
5. Anyone who didn’t fit into #1-#4. Because this commercial is too amazing for anyone to miss. Seriously, every time it comes on Erica and I watch it 2 or 3 times and laugh until we cry.
What are the chances this guy brutally kills this woman before dawn? 99% or 100%?
Enjoy.
PS…Leave your Super Bowl Picks in the comments, including final scores. Closest guess will win a prize from the incredibly lame BryanAllain.com prize stash.
Posted by Bryan AllainTags: I always will be, Kay Jewelers
Yah… my wife and I laughed hysterically every time that commercial aired (and at Christmas-time it seemed like it was on every other commercial)!
Colts 31, Saints 27
Hahaha, nice. I had “seen” this commercial but never paid attention to it.
You’re SO right! The first time I saw that (just a few days ago) I commented to my family that the presentation of jewelry made it 0% less creepy. commercial fail?
Colts 34 Saints 24
wow. i just watched it two more times and I’m dying here at work. For the full effect you’ve got to watch it 2 or 3 times in a row.
I’ve got a hunch it’s going to be a good game on Sunday. I don’t think the Saints will win, but I think they cover the 5.5 point spread and I think I take the under 56.5 points. Mostly because I like to be different.
Colts 27, Saints 23
Wow. I’m so glad you are bringing this to light. I honestly thought I was the only one who had a problem with this. The thunder clap made me pee a little the first time I saw it.
Peyton Manning 35, Saints 17
Oh yeah, I saw this and laughed out loud. My only regret was that my wife was not with me. I didn’t think of the guy killing her. I think next time there’s a thunderstorm, every guy should try enacting this commercial (minus the jewelry.)
Oh I just can’t bear to watch. How do paid actors be SO bad? Plus, ’surround her (neck) with the strength of your love’ sure sounds like a fancy way to say ’strangle her.’
Colts 38 Saints 31?
This commercial is absolutely ridiculous. It’s a wonder this was ever approved for airtime!
Not to change the subject, but are you going to post your thoughts on the LOST premiere?
working on the LOST post now, but will probably post it on Tuesday morning. I think it will be a good refresher before the episode later that night. we’ll see how that works.
Awesome! Looking forward to it!
I dont get it whats so funny? I just think its corny.
it’s funny because the guy is supposed to be charming and he sounds so creepy. at least, that’s what its funny to me.
Saints 37
Colts 31
Wow… that commercial is so cheesy, but in a creepy way!
I hate the Colts and Peyton Manning. I am going Saints 38 Colts 33.
Saints 34
Colts 31
“surround her with the strength of your love.” – by ’surround’, do they mean ‘choke’? and by ‘love’, do they mean ‘enraged aggression’?
colts 35 – other team 14
Yes, have always thought this guy was very, very creepy!!! Also, the commercial is just plain corney. My husband usually mimicks the creepy guy after he sees it making me shiver a bit. Yep, he’s going to kill her!
Colts 37
Saints 31
I’m not sure what bothers me more: the creepy voice, the is he going to kill her scenario, or the fact that Kay’s plays switch-aroo with mommy every Christmas? Ever notice how Daddy magically gets Mommy a different gift but they are wearing the exact same pajamas? Sure, you buy Mommy bling but you won’t buy junior any new clothes. What kind of bastard father are you?
Dwight Freeney won’t play more than 10 plays so it’s an offensive shoot-out:
Saints 38
Colts 36
Wow, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of viewing that commercial yet here in the midwest. Thanks for freaking me out!!
Payton Manning is a great guy and a brilliant play caller. I have to go Colts 35, Saints 14.
See, I think thunderstorms are one of the coolest things God created (giraffes would be the other thing), so this commercial makes ME want to bump her off…
I’m going with:
Colts 3
Saints 0
(After 3rd overtime when the stands are mostly empty and the only people still watching the game live in Hawaii where it’s just about 11:30PM.)
only 2 overtimes allowed in nfl
Yeah, I know. And sometimes, that’s too bad. I think all sports should be more like Cricket in this respect. Imagine the possibilities! ; )
Colts 41
Saints 24
Too funny. I saw the commercial just last night for the 1st time. I was like, “What!?” Too weird.
We usually don’t watch commercials because of our DVR, but some how we did catch this one a few times during the “Season of commercials for Christmas gifts normal people cannot afford” (Lexus, Mercedes, big diamonds, Hyundai…ok maybe I could afford the latter). My wife and I laughed as well…extremely creepy. This ranks right up there with the Vermont Teddy Bear Valentine’s commercial we just saw. After seeing that my wife said and I quote “I absolutely DO NOT want one of those”. (I can’t find it on youtube…I think it’s a new one for this year. If I find it I’ll forward it to you).
Saints 38
Colts 31
Manning fails on the final drive. Nothing against the guy, I’d just like to see the Saints get one and it would be an exciting ending.
this is too much. i have watched it 5 times and now i must stop because i’m going to wake up the children with my howling laughter!
and WHO the heck gets $$$ to act like this?
hahaha, so creepy! you’ll be happy to know that Kay has a new commercial (just as creepy) floating around out there! I just saw it the other night!
Saints 38
Colts 31
They even animate the noose around her neck. Look at the 15 second mark.
I got nothing on the game because my husband isn’t here. I can pull out a wild guess that the colts will win but points spread, final score guesses, all that stuff makes me want to crawl into a hole.
Looking forward to your take on LOST!
Yeah, I was like, “I don’t get it.” After reading through the comments, I’m getting the feeling that’s exactly what’s so funny about it? Is that it? In that case, yes, this is insane.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
I can’t take that commercial. I’m glad you enjoy it.
Super bowl – Colts, obv! It does my heart so good to hear all these votes of confidence!
Colts 27
Saints 20
The first time I saw this was during SNL and I really thought it was fake. I kept waiting for the joke. I even watched it again to see if I was missing something. Nope it was real.
i hate this commercial, but now since you pointed out the vocal changes its funnier and more bearable…
Colts 31
Saints 30
I wanna see a nail biter baby!!
Did you also notice that the “Embrace” looks more like a noose. Creepy. There is a pun in there about Killing starting with K, but I can’t quite figure out what it is. Maybe you’ll have better luck.
Saints-32-24.
Travis
Dang, I didn’t read any of the comments before I wrote mine. JennyBek basically read my mind.
I honestly don’t see what’s so creepy about it…where everyone is getting the “he’s gonna kill her” vibe is beyond me….
I am pretty certain that the dude is a vampire. The hint at immortality and the fact that there is a coffin in their living room — it’s pretty obvious.
Bears 18
Celtics 17
Ha!
Colts 49
Saints 48
100% dead.
colts – 42
saints – 20
Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you posted this!! I’m on my way home from a conference and am completely overwhelmed by my ridiculous reader. I’ve actually clicked on TWO out of 386 posts to read. This is one (in case that wasn’t obvious). Every time I see this commercial, I just can’t stand it. It’s So. Awful!!!! Thanks for mocking it. I like that.
Ahhhh! That’s my least favorite (not that I have a favorite…) of the Kay commercials. The cheesy thunder and lightning. The cliche, secluded cabin. The shrill. The strained “I’m here… and I always will be” from the not-too-suave man. It’s all full of hilarity and terror.
How did I miss this? HILLARIOUS