Before I ever had the idea to stick characters from The Office into the Old Testament, I thought it would be interesting to do the same with Jack Bauer.
Like the Office idea, nothing has come of this one yet. But some of the stuff I put in the proposal was fun, including this attempt by Jack Bauer at writing his own Psalm.
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Psalm 151
a Psalm of Jack Bauer
1 O God, You are My God, I will seek you earnestly in my hour of need.
2 Though the cable ties cut off circulation to my hands, though they are tied tight enough that I can’t slip away, I will still trust in you.
3 Though I hear voices discussing ways of disposing of my dead body, and I have to say, they’ve got some creative ideas. Yet I will still trust in you.
4 Though they have taken my phone from me, which really ticks me off because I have stuff on there I really can’t afford to lose, I will still trust in you.
5 Though my daughter Kim is in a perilous situation right now involving a mountain lion, a magician, and a vat of anthrax-laced beef stew, still I will trust in you.
6 Though these men are smart enough to have placed moles in high-ranking government positions, yet dumb enough to not have killed me yet, still I will trust in you.
7 And wait, what is this! The broken bone sticking out of my right forearm! It is sharp enough to cut through the plastic of my restraints!
8 As the cable ties drop to the ground, so to do the bloody heads of my captors, and I praise your name!
9 You have delivered me from out of this lair; now please deliver my cell phone back to my pocket. I’ve got building schematics for a hostage rescue on there.
10 And a Scrabble App I paid ten bucks for.
Selah.
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Posted by Bryan AllainTags: Featured, Jack Bauer, Old Testament
THAT is funny. I so wish that proposal had been picked up.
Selah.
+10 points for adding “Selah” to the end.
NICE! NICE WORK! made my day.
That’s AWESOME!! Especially considering I’m a HUGE 24 fan. …and, it could happen. Jack’s eyes could be opened….stranger things
I am glad you worked in the cell phone. I was looking for that.
Brian, I love 24 but I never thought I would hear it in regards to a psalm. Pretty interesting & cool too.
Thanks,
Janet
That. Was. Awesome. Though someone might argue there IS a Psalm 151, but I won't go there. Jack might kill me.
As a huge 24 fan, this is awesome. I would like to see what Jack's version of Song of Songs would be like… all that energy to killing terrorists must make for a passionate lover, right?
hahahahahahahaha!
(wish I could think of something more clever to say, but I’m too busy laughing)
Love your site, love your humor! I am lacking a humor gene of my own and must rely on others for my minimum daily requirement.
thanks Gina! appreciate you stopping by. hope i can help fill your recommended daily allowance of humor.