10 More Sentences No One Has Ever Said, Super Bowl Edition

Time for a Super Bowl XLVII edition of quotes that have never been uttered.

10 More Sentences No One Has Ever Said

1. I’m surprised CBS didn’t show Ray Lewis being introduced.

2. Wouldn’t this be a better product if the offensive lineman had to play shirtless?

3. This game starts way too early in the day.

4. Forget the commercials, I only watch for the 10-second local news cut-ins.

5. I was glad to hear they’re dumping warm raccoon urine on the winning coach this year instead of gatorade.

6. Football would be way better if the final scores were more like soccer, the pace was more like baseball, and the last three minutes of a game dragged on for a half hour like it does in basketball.

7. My favorite part of last night’s Old-Timers Pro Bowl game was when Howie Long fractured his hip while sacking and killing Joe Namath in the second quarter.

8. Remember that time the Harbaugh brothers crossed streams when they were peeing in the woods behind Old Man Jackson’s house?

9. I’d enjoy this broadcast way more if they replaced all of these ads with the Sarah McLachlan “Sad Animals in a Minor Key” commercial.

10. Despite the hype, watching this game tonight reminded me of what really matters in life.

Okay, your turn.

Give us a Super Bowl related sentence no one has ever said before.

You can read past editions of Sentences No One Has Ever Said here.


  • https://plus.google.com/106420084593079790029/posts Ernie

    My family and I can’t wait to see the wholesome commercial that GoDaddy airs!

    • Bryan

      haha…that made me think of a slight tweak on that…

      “Pause the DVR so we can watch this GoDaddy commercial with mom and grandma.”

      • https://plus.google.com/106420084593079790029/posts Ernie

        LOL. That’s a good tweak – much funnier!

  • http://middletree.blogspot.com James Williams

    So the two coaches are related? I had no idea? Why didn’t the media mention this?

  • http://middletree.blogspot.com James Williams

    Beyonce is nice, but I really wish they’d go back to halftime shows featuring Up With People!

  • Tim McGeary

    I still miss the replacement refs…

    • Bryan

      funny…it seems like 4 seasons ago, not 4 months ago.

  • Jeff

    I sure wish the halftime show was longer!

  • http://jillkemerer.blogspot.com Jill Kemerer

    Let’s get those replacement coaches back for this game!

    Funny list–thanks for making me smile!

    • http://jillkemerer.blogspot.com Jill Kemerer

      Whoops! I meant, Let’s get those replacement REFS back for this game! :)

  • http://jberkheimer.wordpress.com/ Josh Berkheimer

    “…and the Philadelphia Eagles are world champions!” :-(