5-hr Energy Asks Doctors A Question

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Have you seen this commercial yet? If not, take the 30 seconds and watch it.

Did you catch that?

“We asked over 3000 doctors to review 5-hr energy and what they said is amazing. Over 73% who reviewed 5-hr energy said they would recommend a low-calorie energy supplement to their healthy patients who use energy supplements.”

Here’s how I see that survey result coming about:

5-hr Energy: Doctor, would you recommend someone drink 5-hr Energy?

Doctor: No.

5HE: What if you had a patient that was already drinking energy supplements, would you recommend it to them?

D: No.

5HE: What if you had a patient that was already drinking energy supplements AND you knew the patient was healthy? Would you recommend 5-hr Energy to them?

D: No, I’m not going to recommend a specific energy supplement. This is stupid, I’m going to hang up.

5HE: Wait, let’s put it this way. What if you had a patient that was already drinking energy supplements AND you knew the patient was healthy AND the energy supplement was low in calories? Would you recommend this generic product for them?

D: Ummmm…

5HE: I mean, they are already drinking it anyways, right? And you know that they are healthy. And you know that the energy drink has low calories. Might as well recommend it right?

D: Um, I guess so? I don’t know. Look, I need to go actually help a patient. By the way, I’m a podiatrist you know. I don’t really know anything about energy supplements.

5HE: Just say ‘Yes’ and I’ll let you go.

D: Fine. YES. GOODBYE.

5HE: Thank you for your time.

While we’re here, 73% isn’t really that strong of a number! 1 out of every 4 doctors (at least 775 of the 3000 doctors they polled) actually said “No, even if my patient was already taking an energy supplement I would NOT recommend that they use a low calorie energy supplement.”

This was the best statistic they could come up with?

“We asked over 3000 doctors to review 5-hr energy and what they said is amazing. Over 73% who reviewed 5-hr energy said they would recommend a low-calorie energy supplement to their healthy patients who use energy supplements.”

Amazing indeed.

Comments

  • Lazarus

    Sep 11, 2012

    Reply

    OVER 73% may mean 80%…or 91%…I love that wording! Leaves it open for you to pick your own number! I guess it sounds better than “just under 74%.”

    They are glass half-full guys.

    Just under 74% was a D in grade school.
    Just under 74% will not win you a driver’s license.
    Just under 74% will get you fired as an SEC football coach.

  • David

    Sep 11, 2012

    Reply

    They asked 3000 doctors to review it, but then they give the percentage of those that did. I image it went this way: 5 doctors said “Sure, I’ll recommend that”. 2 doctors said “No, never”. The other 2993 said “This is ridiculous; I refuse to be a part of this.” 5 out of 7 is pretty close to 73%, so 73% of those that reviewed it approved it. Pretty clever!

  • TMZ

    Sep 11, 2012

    Reply

    Hooray science.

  • ChadJ (randomlychad)

    Sep 11, 2012

    Reply

    Better living through chemistry?

    Where’s Bill Nye?

    ————–

    Just this past weekend, my son and I were in Big Lots getting gum, and saw 32oz cans of Monster, or what I affectionately refer to as “myocardial infarction in a can.”
    Who the heck needs 32ozs of Monster?

  • Melly

    Sep 11, 2012

    Reply

    If you look closely at the top sheet in the stack of surveys close up, you’ll see that out of 3 choices for question #4: Yes, No or Don’t Know / Not Sure…the latter is checked off.

  • Evan Forester

    Sep 11, 2012

    Reply

    Maybe you have to drink a 5 hour energy to understand this video accurately?

  • ARuthC

    Sep 11, 2012

    Reply

    YES! This commercial has always made me scream at the tv, “What kind of ‘amazing’ result is that, you silly person?!?!” Thank you for pointing out the ridiculousness.

  • Tim

    Sep 11, 2012

    Reply

    Thank you! I’m glad I’m not the only one who picked up on that. For a totally boring commercial, it cracks me up every time.

  • Political Atheists, Vulcan Tractors, and How 73% of Doctors Endorse 5-Hour Energy (Sort Of)

    Sep 12, 2012

    Reply

    […] “Here’s how I see that survey result coming about:” […]

  • Larry The Deuce

    Sep 12, 2012

    Reply

    I love the old Camel cigarette commercials from the 50’s. Something like 3 out of 4 doctors recommended smoking Camels too.

  • Jim

    Sep 12, 2012

    Reply

    Confession: I thought of this while reading this. Cartoons used to be AWESOME. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDH4am1wD_c

  • Clay Morgan

    Sep 12, 2012

    Reply

    The scary thing is that I had a similar conversation to what you’re describing with a friend!

  • Joshua Jonesq

    Sep 12, 2012

    Reply

    If only there were some way for us to get energy in a healthy way. Wait…wait…I’ve got an idea, what if we layed down and closed our eyes on a regular basis for maybe 8 hours or so everyday? Nah, it’ll never work, lets use this energy supplemen!!! :)

  • Mike

    Sep 12, 2012

    Reply

    I heard that 95% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

  • Lisa

    Sep 13, 2012

    Reply

    wow

  • Andrew Zahn

    Sep 15, 2012

    Reply

    Love the script.

  • Allon

    Sep 16, 2012

    Reply

    I thought the exact same thing. And if you really listen, she doesn’t even say that the doctors even recommended 5-hr energy. Just that they recommended a lo-cal energy drink… maybe like actual fruit or vegetable juice… hilarious. Come to think of it, I took a poll and I am using the same results for gasoline as a drink. lo-cal, and definitely high energy. haha

  • You better get yourself together

    Sep 23, 2012

    Reply

    […] for health clinics! Why are there no Planned Parenthood facilities in wealthy areas?”“This was the best statistic they could come up with?”“The broad acceptance of evolution has led more directly, of course, to such other […]

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