Welcome to Hijacked Q&A, a new series at Bryanallain.com where I answer real questions from real people posed to someone else. Like most things on this blog, there is no point.
The following questions were submitted to ESPN’s Adam Schefter by people hoping to get answers regarding Thursday’s draft. Why Adam? Because he’s one of the most talented and connected NFL reporters in the country, that’s why.
But you’re not here for Adam’s answers, are you?
Let’s do this…
Q: I’m a die-hard Minnesota Vikings fan and can’t believe that they would really take someone other than Matt Kalil. What are you hearing? What do you think they should do? — Jonathan (New York)
A: I’m hearing that they like Kalil, but I’m also hearing rumblings that they like Jerry Neumann, a 22-year old cashier at a Minneapolis-area grocery store with no football experience. I heard that about 10 seconds ago when I told myself and made myself laugh. P.S. I think they should change the logo on their helmets to a bearded man eating soup from a cauldron.
Q: Is it at all possible that Ryan Tannehill ends up like Jimmy Clausen in the 2010 draft, where everyone is projecting him to go in the top 10, but he ends up falling into the second round? — Noah (Ohio)
A: Everything is possible if you put your mind to it, Noah.
Q: With all of the young talent the Kansas City Chiefs have, wouldn’t it make sense to take Tannehill at No. 11 or trade up to No. 7 to get him? I feel like my team is a contender in the AFC West and could be dangerous in the playoffs, but we need a franchise QB. Matt Cassel isn’t the answer. — Sara (Kansas)
A: How do you think this makes Matt Cassell feel, Sara? Did you consider that? What if he’s reading this article right now after an intense 2-hour workout, only to discover that some ‘h-less’ Sarah in Kansas has absolutely NO faith in him? Way to go, Tony Robbins.
Q: The Detroit Lions need an elite playmaker at cornerback. Can they get one at No. 23? Should they trade up? — Rich (New Jersey)
A: My sources tell me they would love to get either Trey Parker or Matt Stone (The Book of Mormon), but would settle for 85-year old Peter Shaffer (Amadeus) if the South Park boys are off the board.
Q: The Atlanta Falcons seem like a team that could age quickly this season and one that has several big roster holes. Do you think they can find a replacement at LB for Curtis Lofton in the draft? — Kerry (Indiana)
A: Everyone ages at the same pace, Benjamin Button.
(for ESPN Insiders who want Adam Schefter’s actual answers, click here)
Look for more Hijacked Q&A coming soon…