It’s been almost a full year since we ran the last Cliche Thursday, so why not bring it back again? And on a Friday no less! This is total anarchy!
Today we’ve got a special Food & Drink Edition.
Here we go…
“He’s really got egg on his face now.” – and he should be extremely embarrassed. Not because he did that thing that let everyone know how irresponsible he is, but because he eats breakfast like an 18-month old.
Learn how to use a freaking napkin, chick-murderer.
“You should have seen her, she was acting like a kid in a candy store.” – So you’re saying she was indecisive and whiny because she couldn’t get everything she wanted to the point where you had to tell her, “Look, I don’t need to buy you anything here. I thought it would be nice to treat you to one thing but if you’re gonna have this attitude we’re not getting anything and you’re not gonna be allowed on the Wii or the computer for the rest of the weekend, you understand?”
“There’s no accounting for taste.” – But I kind of wish there was. Wouldn’t it be great to get a year end statement on your tongue?
FOR THE FISCAL YEAR 2011 – ACCOUNTING FOR BRYAN ALLAIN’S TASTE
Total savory foods consumed – 1040 units
Total sweet foods consumed – 688 units
Percentage of times you tasted cheese and wanted more – 99% (the unfortunate blue cheese incident from March and the Gorgonzola debacle on the ides of July.)
Total times gross items were tasted upon an “Ugh, you’ve got to try this.” request – 5
Total times ear wax was tasted from a pen that was previously inserted into ear – 4
“He’s got one foot on a banana peel and the other foot in the grave.” – Was it kind of creepy for him to be stepping into an open burial plot at the local cemetery? Absolutely.
But still creepier was the fact that one of his legs was over six feet long.
“He’s got champagne tastes and a beer budget.” – And it’s what ultimately caused Jon and Sharon to default on their mortgage. Whenever she asked him, “Another bottle of champagne? How exactly are we doing on the alcohol budget this month?’ his response was always, “We’re still way under on that budget honey, no worries!”
What she didn’t know was that their “alcohol” budget was strictly for beer. The champagne was coming out of the “Miscellaneous” fund, which he overdrew by about $1800 every month because of his insatiable predilection for the bubbly stuff. For shame.
What About You? If an expression is really busting your chops lately, flame it in the comments.
(for past editions of Cliche Thursday, click here.)