Remember that Super Bowl Contest we held here at the blog in February? Kristin Herdy won the contest and her prize was a guest blog at BryanAllain.com This is that guest blog, and of course, she uses it to rub in how much she loves to win. Enjoy.
I tend to get competitive about academics. I hate to lose, anytime, but I REALLY hate to lose when my brain cells are on the line.
Woe unto the one who plays Trivial Pursuit with me, for they shall surely bear my wrath! Weeping and gnashing of teeth afflict those who dare challenge me to a duel of grey matter – like Scrabble! A pox upon the house of the one who would attempt to overtake me on the court of cleverness – or best me in the arena of acumen!
Other youth studied the Bible. I did Bible Quiz – where I memorized books of the Bible and answered questions in a quiz show format. It wasn’t enough for me to know the Word, I knew the Word enough to beat the other team to the buzzer (and to a virtual bloody pulp).
I’m so competitive that I studied French in High School just to prove that I actually had been the smartest 4th grader at Rizzuto Elementary. You see, in grade school, I convinced every kid in my class that I spoke fluent French. I made up vaguely French sounding phrases, like “le recession” to describe recess, and answered all questions with “mais oui!” I was esteemed a goddess of nasally knowledge by a passel of preteens.
Once we got to High School, and studying French became a viable option for everyone, I had to take it to keep up the ruse, just in case anyone remembered that I once claimed to know the language. And, I couldn’t just take the class; I had to be THE BEST, lest they discover my subterfuge.
If I let anyone get the advantage of me, I might be revealed for the fraud I am. I would have to face my insecurities head-on. To avoid that, I have crafted a fool-proof plan to be #WINNING! Take notes.
- Lower your standards for sportsmanship – If there is no level to which you will not stoop, that means you’re a multi-platform competitor! If you’re not afraid to insult their momma, cut some corners on rules, or hit them in the gender bits, it increases trepidation in your opponents.
- Compete through your children – from the moment they wake up until they pass out at night, I make sure my kids are at the top of my game. We sing “Anything you can do, I can do better” as a lullaby. They are going to make up for all the competitions I never won, I just know it.
- Ignore related Scriptures – Just take an Exacto™ to Philippians 2:3 – “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit.” Don’t worry, you’re in good company; lots of other Christians have taken that verse out, too.
If none of these work for you, it’s probably because you’re a panty-waste loser, or a good Christian; at any rate, I’m beating you. You could learn a lot from me.
Thanks for the post, Kristin!
So how competitive are you on a scale of 1 to 10? Are you a “1” that cowers in fear whenever there’s a chance to prove yourself? Or are you a “10” that is so enraged by this post that you want to challenge Kristin to some type of challenge immediately? Let us know in the comments.
Want more Kristin? Go check out her blog at Messiahmom.wordpress.com!