I Will Make You Laugh AND

93% of you come to this site to laugh, and for that I am so humbled and thankful. Making people laugh has always been one of my favorite things in the world.

I understand, however, why I don’t get booked for many speaking gigs. If I’m “the funny guy”, then why else would you bring me in other than to tell jokes? Since, I’m not a comedian, there seems to be a disconnect. So…how do i fix this?

Well, the short answer is that I am working on it. (And the long answer is too long to type.)

But here’s a few things I want you, my amazing readers, to know:

5 Things You Should Know About Me

1. Over the past 18 months I’ve spoken to groups as big as 800 and as small as 2. Well, the group of 2 was a lecture to my kids, but I really connected with them, you should have seen it.

2. I can speak on any day of the week! I spoke to a college chapel on a Monday and Tuesday, I spoke to my church on a Wednesday, and I’ve spoken to a few groups of high school students on Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday. Yes, I realize Thursday is a glaring omission. It’s because I fast the English language on Thursday and instead communicate with grunts and body movements.

3. I’m not a comedian, but I will still make you laugh. I know there’s a disconnect here because I mostly tell jokes on my blog, so you might want me to come to your church and do that. Truth is, I don’t have a 20 minute set of bits that I work on. But every talk I prepare is always loaded with humorous personal stories and decent one-liners. I try to be just as funny in person. And if, I’m not, you can laugh at me for trying.

4. I’m a good public speaker. “Wow, how prideful!” you say. No…prideful would be calling myself “an amazing orator”. I’m still getting better every time and have a ways to go, but when I get up there I do know what I’m doing. You don’t have to worry about bringing me in and watching me stumble my way through my notes while you sit there like GOB Bluth and think, “I’ve made a huge mistake”.

5. I connect really well with younger people. Even though I’ll be 34 here soon (crazy), for some reason I am still able to connect really well with high schoolers and young adults. I’m pretty sure it’s because in my head I’m still in my early 20s. Or maybe it’s my juvenile sense of humor and ability to drop my maturity level to that of a 14-year old at will. Either way, if you’re having trouble finding someone to connect with 16-30 year olds, I’d love to take a stab at it. And I’d love to stab them if they don’t think I’m funny.

You can read more about all this on my speaking page. I’m in the process now of getting quotes from the people who have brought me in to speak because they’ve all seemed to think it was a success, so now I’m gonna make them put that crap on paper and make them sign it.

If you’re wondering what I would speak on, I have messages prepared based around a few of my more popular faith-related blog posts (as well as a bunch of others I’ve prepared at someone’s request – something I could do for you too):

Bottom Line is, if you’re looking to bring in someone who’s not your typical speaker, someone who’s an Engineer by day and humor blogger by passion, someone with a big nose who can connect with an audience and make them laugh while sharing truth, and someone who can write a run-on sentence, I might be your guy.

Hit me up at bryanallain(at)gmail.com and we can talk.

Thanks for letting me riff on this, more funny next week.