Welcome to Cliche Thursday, where each week we deconstruct 5 expressions that we’ve all become a little too familiar with and ask you for some of your own least favorites.
Today’s an all face-related batch of expressions for your sensory pleasure.
Here we go…
“I need that like I need a hole in my head”
In other words, I actually do need that pretty badly. After all, I need 7 holes in my head for my eyes, ears, nostrils, and mouth. Without them I’d probably die, or at least be miserable.
“He’s long in the Tooth”
Wait, how long has he been in the tooth? I’ve lost count at this point, but what a nightmare. When Neil was magically shrunken to the size of a Tic-Tac I thought he had seen the worst of it. But then his nemesis had him placed into a fake incisor in his mouth, where’s Neil’s been trapped ever since. All the bad breath he’s experienced. All the biting, the burping, the grinding, the vomit, and that disgusting habit he has of chewing wheat thins into a mushy paste and then putting two new wheat things into his mouth to make a mushy paste sandwich. That is a long time to be in the tooth.
“I’m all ears”
And I’m the most disgusting human being on the face of the earth because my entire body is made out of ears. I know I’m ghastly, but must you scream so loudly? I have very sensitive hearing.
“I made it by the skin of my teeth”
No, seriously I just barely made it, and look, i barely have skin on my teeth, so the expression works. What? Why do I have a small amount of skin on my teeth? Oh, because I’m a cannibal. I eat skin. And meat. Please excuse my lack of manners, I would have flossed but I was running late.
“We’re seeing eye to eye”
And while it’s nice to be in agreement with you, the view sucks. Your iris is starting to freak me out. And every time you blink it tickles my retina in a way that makes me want to throw myself into a bonfire. Do you agree with me on that too?
What About You: Any expressions really scraping your plaque lately?
Add them to the list so we can skewer them in the coming weeks.
I have a bone to pick with you.
“Waiting for the other shoe to drop” – but what if, as in the case of Mr. Rogers, the other shoe never drops but is just thrown from one hand to the other?
For some reason I thought it was “I need this like another hole in my head.” You already have 7 what’s the big deal about adding another few? Unless you are SpongeBob and then it could probably be awkward to have too many more…
“keeping your eyes peeled”
That picture is so disturbing. And I have to confess–I’ve never quite gotten the first cliche down.
A few years ago, my mom said that my brother needed a girlfriend like he needed a hole in his head.
I repeated it as “He needs a girlfriend like he needs a bullet in his head.” oops. Wrong saying. Everyone gave me such a hard time about it.
And then I tried to say it again and said “He needs a girlfriend like he needs a hole in his foot.” I thought this would be nicer. I guess I was still picturing a bullet being the thing that put the hole there.
It’s been years and they haven’t let me live it down.
Bryan, I think the problem here is your lack of love for Nickelback. If you were a Chad Kroeger fan, you would love the song “Another Hole in the Head” (which I just turned on) and would know that the “another” is an important part of the cliche. Yes, the ones we have are important. But another one would just let your brains fall out. And we can’t have that.
Thank you, Nickelback, once again.
“It all pays the same”………ugh!!!!