Back in November I posted my 7 Least Favorite Cliches, and it was received so well that I’ve decided to make it into a weekly feature.
Welcome to Cliche Thursday, where each week I’ll deconstruct 5 expressions that we’ve all become a little too familiar with. Here we go…
“We’ve got to give 110%” – As a math nerd, nothing frustrates me more than clichés that fly in the face of logic and numerical accuracy. Clearly no one can give more than 100% of themselves, because 100% stands for everything. Once you hit 100% there’s nothing more to give…unless you start giving away other people’s energy and effort.
The only way you’re giving 110% is if you give EVERYTHING plus you somehow rob me of 10% of my effort that I was planning on putting towards cutting the grass this afternoon. No wonder I’m stuck here on the couch without the will to move. I thought it was because I was lazy, but the truth is, it’s because your softball coach got you a little too fired up for today’s exhibition game.
Just remember, the next time you ask someone to give 110%, you’re asking them to rob from someone else’s soul.
“Heavens to Betsy!” – Not sure how this phrase turned an exclamation of surprise, but it’s an extremely morbid expression. Clearly the underlying assumption here is that Betsy resides in the dark underworld. Think about it. If Betsy was in heaven, then you’d be saying “Heavens to (someone who lives in heaven)!” which is kinda pointless. But if Betsy in sheol, suddenly your expression gains some weight.
Poor Betsy Murgatroyd. (only my “more experienced” readers will get that reference.)
“He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth” – And it’s a good thing his parents are rich because that spoon did some costly damage to mom’s birthing canal on the way out.
“As useless as a screen door in a submarine” – Would you rather drown in:
A) a sub filled with ocean water, sharks, electric eels, sea urchins, and dolphin poop.
or
B) a sub filled with ocean water and nothing else.
Hm. Maybe that screen door isn’t so useless after all.
“Too many irons in the fire” – Every time I hear this cliché I want to jump into a time machine and interview a blacksmith from the 1800s. Was having too many irons in the fire that big of an issue that it spawned its own expression? Because it seems to me that if you had too many irons in the fire, it shouldn’t be a problem. The irons are just sitting there in the fire staying really hot.
Now if you had too many hot irons lying on a pile of dry kindling, I could see how that would become an issue. Or if you had too many irons lying on the chest of your 91-year old grandfather, I could see how the weight would eventually crush his sternum and lungs. But I really don’t see how having too many irons in the fire would create any genuine problems. Without a time machine, we may never know.
What About You: What expressions are leaving you high and dry lately?
Add them to the list so we can skewer them in the coming weeks.
To a blacksmith, too many irons in the fire means that business is booming. If you only had a couple irons in the fire, your family is probably not eating this week. It’s really a profit margin issue.
“Well that goes without saying.” – Then don’t say it.
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” I don’t even know what that means.
“Sweat like a pig.”
Dude, pigs don’t sweat. That’s why they wallow around in the mud to keep cool.
Could you also do a post about cliches that we like? Some of them are kind of funny and even inappropriate which make them lots of fun. Here are two I like:
Busier than a one armed paper hanger (silly, and when Ive used it I have always gotten a peculiar expression. So I use this all the time)
The higher up a ladder you climb, the more your a** shows. (not one I would use in a church meeting, as funny as it would be)
Also, here is my interpretation of the above mentioned cliches:
Too many irons in the fire: I am assuming having too many irons in the fire would actually cool the fire to a point where it didnt heat any of the irons up to a desired temperature. So, this kind of makes sense. When we have too much going on in our lives we dont effectively give the focus and attention to any of those things as we should. What sucks so much about this cliche is that it has absolutely no flare. I want to slap myself in the face when people overuse cliches that are so boring and bland.
I just recently figured out what “a bird in the hand is worth two in a bush” means. However, thats one that is misquoted a lot which makes it fun too. Chances are, you could say that expression at any occasion and most people would just smile and agree. That one should definitely be on the list of cliches we like.
The cliche I absolutely hate: When in Rome. What the heck is that all about? When people from other nations visited Rome were they afraid to stand out? Were they actually persecuted for being unique? If so, why do we use it in such a positive way all the time?
Anyway, those are my thoughts.
The defense on the football team at my high school robbed the souls of the offense, due to the aggressive D coordinator. It all makes sense, now.
Nicely done on the submarine screen door.
-That dog will/won’t hunt.
-A duck out of water.
-Cat got your tongue (that’s gross).
-You really shouldn’t drink tequila after drinking beer all night. (Okay, that’s actually a pretty good one.)
“That’s like a poke in the eye with a burnt stick.” I think it’s Australian. I don’t get it. But I say it anyway.
“Busier than a one armed paper hanger”
I prefer the variation “Busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.”
Same concept, better visual.
I absolutely can’t stand when people are eating something that isn’t ice cream and say “its so good it melts in your mouth”. No, no it doesn’t
“I could care less” – I guess this one means that they care a lot (or at least a little).
“Great minds think alike”
Great minds do not think alike. If this cliche were true, we would still be sitting in the dark and using the quaint strings tied to two cans to communicate. It really chaps my hide.
You gave 110% on that blog post.
@HERE BE DRAGONS
Were you at Impact in PA this past summer??
I like to say that a cliche is a statement repeated over and over again without any action behind it. This means, of course, that truths can turn into cliches… but it also means straight up stupid things can also become cliches. Nice job pointing some of those second kinds out. This reminds me of the whole concept behind Stuff Christians Like.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
“Clean as a whistle”
Unless your whistle is brand new, chances are that it is not clean… It is in fact filled crusty saliva remnants.
Or if the irons spend to much time in the fire they could get heat treated too long and lose their temper, or be too brittle depending on the alloy. Yes I’m a nerd but you asked.
Ah, you beat me to it.
Okay, by three days, so it wasn’t much of a race.
cute as a bug’s ear–I’m not even sure bugs have ears much less cute ones
worth his salt–how cheap is that!
one I like but can’t use in polite company–colder than a witch’s tit
Just thought of another one that has baffled me for years… “I’m feeling under the weather.”
Really, what the heck does that mean?