Opinions vary on what the true point of High School really is.
Here are some of the more popular ones I’ve seen:
- Prepares you for the real world.
- Prepares you for college.
- Prepares you for a lifetime of making fun of people who aren’t like you.
- Helps us figure out who’s cool and who’s not.
- Provides mustachioed women with the opportunity to serve food.
While all those reasons have some merit, I want to focus on the first one for a moment. Truth is, there are some things that happen in high school that don’t really translate over into the real world.
In fact, if you’re currently in High School and you think everything you’re going through now is getting you ready for the rest of your life, think again. Here’s a few examples…
Homework – If my boss gave me stuff to work on at home before I left every day, I would quit by Thursday. (And while we’re here, I’ve never understood the need for homework. You mean 8 hours of classes, 5 days a week, isn’t enough time to teach us stuff? Is this High School or a prison sentence?)
Bells – One of my favorite moments in high school was when a teacher was mid-sentence and the bell rang signaling the end of class. The bell was like truth serum. Before it rang, we were all pretending to listen to what was being said about the Ottoman Empire. But as soon as it rang, the charade was over. People would fly out of the room like they had the runs. Unfortunately, there are no bells in the working world. You have to sit there and listen to your boss for as long as he or she wants to talk.
Study Hall – So let me get this straight. Someone has scheduled a 45-minute block of time for you where you have nothing to do except get caught up on things? Wow. Wouldn’t that be nice.
Weekly Fights – In my high school it seemed like we had 2 or 3 good fights every month. Even if you weren’t lucky enough to be around when it happened, word of the fight usually reached everyone in the school within two or three class periods. Out in the real world, fistfights are as rare as the steak behind the meat counter. Start a fistfight these days and you’ll probably get fired, sued, or incarcerated. Maybe even all three.
Punching people in the face: students only, please.
Public Make out Sessions – In the real world couples don’t lean up against the copier in heavy foot traffic areas and spend 5 minutes licking the inside of each other’s cheeks.
Hard to believe, I know.
Okay, I’m sure there’s things I’ve overlooked.