10 Quick Tips for enjoying a nice beach day with the fam…
1. Put the lotion on before you head over to the beach – trying to put it on at the beach never works because you’re half-covered in sand as soon as you get there.
2. Bring beach-approved snacks – Cherries are great because you can spit the seeds into the sand and cover them up. Bringing a cheese ball and a box of wine might not make as much logistical sense.
3. Get right into your sand castle activities – If your kids want you to build stuff in the sand, do it as soon as you get there. Being at the beach is incredibly draining. If you wait a half-hour to play, you’ll have as much energy as an 80-year old with Mono.
4. Be prepared to make up names for marine animals – “Dad, look at this shell! What type of crab was this?” … “Well kids, judging from it’s mauve exoskeleton and curved pincers, I believe it was a Fallaceton Crab.”
5. Turn off your peripheral vision – There’s way too much on the beach that you don’t want to see. Whether it’s something too visually appealing or too visually appalling, better to keep your eyes to yourself. I recommend wearing blinders like an amish horse.
6. Bring mindless reading material – If US Weekly and People set up vending machines on the beach, I guarantee you they’d sell millions more copies than they already do. There’s just something about reading on the beach that makes it difficult to get through Tolstoy and Hemingway.
7. Start cleaning up as soon as you get there – You’ll never get rid of all the sand and salt from your beach toys and your swimming trunks. But the sooner you start, the better off you’ll be.
8. Pee in the Ocean – Oh stop it! I know I’m not the only one who enjoys doing this.
9. Give credit to the artist – There’s something about looking out at the ocean horizon that gives me chills (other than the 60 degree water). If you enjoy giving God credit for the beautiful world that He created, the beach is a great place to do it.
10. Eat a handful of sand – No one wants sand in their mouth, but it’s going to find it’s way there eventually. Better off shoveling a handful in as soon as you arrive and getting it out of the way.