Ramblings: Phases of the Moon

when the rambling thoughts fill the cup, they eventually overflow and splatter onto the blog. here’s the latest for your consideration…

If friction ever goes on strike, pushpins are in a world of trouble.

Why does every sentence have to be complete? I don’t understand what the big deal is if

My biggest concern with us replacing traditional light bulbs with those energy efficient ones…what are cartoonists going to do when someone gets a bright idea?

Is ‘maybe’ the new ‘yes’? Maybe.

Let’s be honest with each other for a moment. It is not only impossible to find a needle in a haystack, but I submit to you that no one has ever actually looked for a needle in a haystack. Why? Because I don’t think anyone has ever sewn anything while sitting on hay. Who would do that? The next time you hear someone pull out the “it’s like finding a needle in a haystack” cliche, I think you need to call them on it.

You don’t see many chinese stars flying around these days.

I’d like to thank the person who did the research and development to figure out the exact sharpness that a fork should be. In the process he probably endured many a hungry night and bloody tongue.

Never play Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. It’s against the rules.

I think someday we’re all going to wear contact lenses that are actually microcameras. So when you want to take a picture of something, you just press your right temple or say “kodak!” and it instantly saves the image of whatever you were looking at. Trust me, 20 years from now we’re all going to have the future equivalent of USB ports in our armpits.

Do you think the person who invented soup just left a bowl of food out in the rain?

Why are they still putting the phases of the moon on calendars? Who cares about this other than werewolves and garbage men?

If you tried to feed scrambled eggs to a chicken, would it eat them? And is that technically poultry cannibalism?