Ramblings: Reinventing the Wheel

Time for another edition of ramblings and such…

+ You know someone I have a hard time with? “Meeting Whisperer Guy” (MWG). MWG thinks it’s okay to whisper things to you during a meeting, despite the fact that you’re trying to pay attention (whether it’s to the speaker or to whatever you’re daydreaming about). MWG never whispers clearly enough the first time, so you either nod your head, smile and pretend like you heard him, or you ask him to repeat it. If you still don’t understand MWG after the second whisper, it’s usually best to just pretend like you heard him, because once you get to the third try everyone around you is watching you and he is going to whisper loud enough that half the room will hear it. The thing is, 9 times out of 10 MWG never really has anything that important to say…he just cannot get through a meeting without whispering because he loves being MWG. As you can tell, I’m not a fan.

+ So last night Erica and I were sitting outside in our side by side bathtubs overlooking amish country…oh wait, that’s right, I don’t live in a Cialis commercial…nevermind.

+ If you ever want to start a conversation off with confusion, ask someone how their weekend was on a Friday afternoon.

+ I believe ten years from now every residential bathroom will have an E-Reader built into it. A screen that swings off your wall where you download your subscriptions to your favorite magazines. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…

+ If I built homes for a living, I would build in at least one secret passageway into every house that I built. I would also build a secret room off of that passageway with riddles that unlocked the key to getting into that room. And inside that room I would hide treasure, like ring pops or gold bouillon or a year’s supply of Corn Nuts. But here’s the thing: I wouldn’t tell anyone about it for years. I’d wait a good 3-5 years and then send an anonymous letter to the family telling them about the hidden treasure. Imagine getting one of these letters about your own house. Wouldn’t it be the highlight of your year? your month? at least your day?

+ Time for some Jeopardy! Answers and Questions:

Answer: “A cactus, electricity, and the setting sun.”
Question: “What are things that are nice to look at but not nice to touch.”

Answer: “My house and all of my clothes are on fire and you offered me $1000 to do it.”
Question: “What are the only 2 reasons I would run out of my house naked?”

Answer: “A nickname for the South or the most ridiculous use of the Scriptures since Testamints.”
Question: “What is the Bible Belt?”

+ If Google would have chosen a different name, like “RifleThroughAlGoresMind.com”, do you think it would still be as popular as it is today? I’m gonna say yes.

+ If hot water is so much better than cold water at getting things clean, why aren’t we brushing our teeth with it? Once you get past your initial reaction, which is probably “because that would be gross!”, think about it. Could it be that all these years dentists have been hiding this from us in order to drum up business? Maybe it’s time we start the Hot Water Brushers Revolution and change the way this country cleans their teeth! Who’s with me?

+ Maybe it’s the geek in me, but I’ve always been bothered by the asymmetry of our nation’s map.

You’ve got over two dozen right angles west of the Mississippi, including the nice and neat four corners of Utah, Colorado, and Arizona, and New Mexico. It’s an engineer’s dream. But then your eye moves East and it looks like the state lines were drawn out by a 4-year old on Red Bull. (I know, I know, a lot of it can be blamed on using rivers for state lines…it’s a joke, okay, just go with it.)

+ Do you know anyone who actually buys Nickelback CDs? I know they’re an easy target to pick on, and I’ve done my fair share of it in the past. And look, the guys obviously have some talent and know how to write songs that appeal to the masses. I just don’t know a single person who actually buys their music. Do you? “All the Right Reasons”, their fifth studio album, has sold more than 6-million copies worldwide. All I’m asking for is one or two of those 6,000,000 people to stop in and say hi here. Come one out folks, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

+ Is it me, or are kids hacky-sacking a lot less than they used to?

+ Why are we all so worried about reinventing the wheel? It has to be one of the most overused cliches in the English language. Are we really that happy with the wheel we have? I mean, I know it works great and all, but what if there’s something better out there? Some shape we haven’t thought of yet that’s more efficient? Let’s think outside of the box here people. Someday when the wheel is obsoleted by some contraption invented by an MIT undergrad, we’re all going to feel like idiots for saying “we don’t want to reinvent the wheel” so often. I’m just warning you now…don’t say I didn’t tell you so.