It’s been a while since I last rambled…here’s some of the random things that have been rolling around in my frontal lobe…
+ Why is it in every TV drama about High School, the “hip” teacher is always an English Lit teacher? Ever notice that? It’s never the geometry teacher that the kids are running to for support. The cute girl in the cast never develops a crush on the Physics teacher. It’s always the English teacher, and he always hands out cool writing assignments and gives edgy book recommendations. He almost always has some form of shortly trimmed facial hair (goattee, beard, sideburns), he often is wearing glasses, and his hair is usually wavy. My English teachers were never that cool. (Then again, my physics teacher couldn’t have been more of a doofus…so maybe I’m proving my own point.)
This has been going on for years. Remember when Tony Crane substituted for Mrs. Simpson during the first season of Saved By The Bell? His wavy hair had the girls going gaga:
And almost 20 years later, here’s the guy who played the role of “Hip New Teacher” on Friday Night Lights (notice the light beard):
OK, that’s enough discussion on hip teachers…moving on…
+ I drove by a gas station yesterday that is selling regular unleaded for $3.65/gallon and it brought me legitimate joy. Funny how relative your perspective on something like gas prices can be. Eight years ago I would have been fuming if I had to pay more than $1.50.
+ You’ll never catch me watching a daytime talk show, but I do have to say I love the “before and after” makeover segments they sometimes show. Who doesn’t love these? Isn’t it great to see someone jump up a couple points on the hotness scale in a few hours? Even if it’s from a 2 to a 4, it still gives hope to the rest of us that even if we are too lazy to do something about improving our appearance, it’s just nice to know that the potential is there. The other thing I love about talk show makeovers is you know there’s no way these people are going to be able to replicate that look once they get back into their normal routine. They’ll be wearing the same frumpy clothes from before, pulling their hair back, and caking on the wrong makeup. But hey, they’ll have the video of their shining moment on Maury forever.
+ Now that everyone carries around a cellphone, the watch is almost strictly a fashion accessory at this point right? I mean, the last thing I need on my wrist is the time of day. I’ve got it on my computer, on the wall, and in my pocket on my cellphone. I think we need to put something else on our watches…some information more valuable than what time it is. Maybe the temperature? I don’t know, I think it would be nice to know what the temperature is at any moment (although…my cellphone can do that too). Or how about your pulse? your weight and percent body fat? How close you are to the nearest coffee shop? Those things would be more valuable, in my opinion.
Or maybe we need to think even further outside the box. Maybe you could make the face of the watch out of candy, so folks who needed a sweet fix but don’t feel like finding a vending machine could be satiated. They could just lick their watch (although, once you put your hands in your pockets, your watch would probably turn into a lint lollipop). Better yet, the watch could hold a few ounces of espresso. So when 3pm rolls around and you’re about to fall asleep at your desk, just suck down some of your watch juice and you’re good to go. Hm, I think I’m on to something here.
+ A trip to the dentist last week reminded me how nonsensical this whole oral anesthetic thing is. I go in to get one cavity filled and he shoots Novocaine into my gums. 10 minutes later he’s in there drilling, and frankly, i can still feel what’s going on a little too much. Would it have killed him to have waited a few more minutes? Next thing I know, he’s done, and my mouth is still getting number. At this point I’m driving home and half my face has no feeling at all. I could rest the right side of my face against a hot stove top and not feel a thing. 6 HOURS LATER and my lips are still tingling! Here’s a graphical representation of the experience:
There’s got to be a better way to do this.
+ Have you seen these commercials for the Perfect Push-Up? Of course you have. Your arms rotate while you do the push-up, which is the same motion as throwing a punch! Great! That will come in handy for all those fistfights I get into now that I’m an adult! But the kicker to me is when they try to sell me on the product based on the fact that it was invented by a Navy Seal. This is supposed to make me want to buy their product more? Now, I realize Navy Seals are in good shape with all the training they do, but does that make them qualified to design an exercise device for me? I had no idea that Navy Seal training involved engineering of physical fitness equipment. Maybe they think we’re supposed to assume that Navy Seals can design great exercise equipment because they are in such great shape? If that’s the case, maybe I should try designing a car since I spend so much time driving in one. “This car is specifically engineered and designed by Bryan Allain, who drives ALOT!!!” Not only that, but aren’t Navy Seals known for enduring some of the most grueling conditions and training regimens out there? All I want to do is get a bigger upper body. I’m not planning on performing any covert missions in Bosnia any time soon. This marketing campaign is the biggest farce ever perpetrated on the American public. I’m gonna have to pass on this one.
+ Finally, am I the only one who has hangups about certain foods that date all the way back to childhood? Take blue cheese. Up until yesterday I had gone my entire life without eating it because I thought it probably tasted like mold. I’ve seen mold on cheese before and it was kinda greenish-blue. Yesterday I told a co-worker I didn’t like blue cheese, and when he asked why I said, “I don’t know. Actually, I’ve never tried it.” The look of disgust he gave me was enough motivation for me to give it a try on my buffalo chicken wrap, and you know what? it wasn’t that bad at all. Kinda good actually. So my question to you is, Is there a food out there that you tell people you don’t like, but secretly you’ve never tried it? Let us know what it is. AND bonus points if you actually try it in the next 10 days. I dare you.