American Idolatry

Feeling guilty about watching American Idol? Instead of wallowing in your shame, would you like to do something about it?

Before each episode pick a charity to donate to and keep score throughout the length of the show. You have to donate $1 for each time one of these events occur:

  • Simon Cowell rolls his eyes
  • A judge uses the phrase “song choice”
  • A contestant uses their fingers to tell you which number to dial following their performance
  • Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell flirt with each other
  • The crowd applauds after one of Paula’s inebriated complimentary rants
  • Randy says “you know dawg”, “it was just alright”, or “that was hot”
  • Paula says “you are a shining light”or “i love you and want you to buy me a drink”
  • Simon says “awful”, “i enjoy ogling female contestants”, or “karaoke”

If you’re fast enough to keep track without losing count, you’ll probably raise over $100 for your charity of choice.

And if you’re one of those folks who thinks David Archuleta is a lock to win this year, just remember that people were saying the same thing about Melinda Doolittle and Lakesha Jones last season.

I mean, not that i watch or anything. That’s just what i heard at, umm, the water cooler at work.