I recently took a trip from PA to Dallas and back to interview Caedmonâ€™s Call and see a concert. Here are all the mind-numbing details…
Saturday, May 4th
6:36pm â€“ A mini-fiasco to get to this point. The Philly International Airport is playing Whereâ€™s Waldo with the Economy Parking Lot and unfortunately it took me 2 go-rounds to find. Needless to say I was unamused. I walked into the airport a little over an hour ago. I travel light on these 2-day trips, no bags to check. I set off the metal detector with my keys heading for the gates so I had to step aside for a security guard to make sure I wasnâ€™t al qaeda or anything. After she checked me with the wand, she asked if she could pat me down to which I responded, â€œthatâ€™s fine with me.â€ I hope she didnâ€™t take that the wrong way. I sat at Gate B11 for 20 minutes and then got in line to board. As soon as the boarding agent saw my license photo (which is downright scary), he asked me to step aside for another wand check. The dude also rummaged through my bags as well. Even though I had packed it, I was still scared that something might have slipped in there when I wasnâ€™t looking like a box of matches or a steak knife or something. Luckily, his search only led him to a Bible, a pack of Berry Skittles (much better then the originals), and an old belt that has been in my gym bag for over 3 years. This leads me here, where I am now sitting on the plane waiting to take off.
6:46pm â€“ Holy Madrid! There is a B.O. funk wafting around my nose right now of epic proportions. SOMEBODY STINKS! Thereâ€™s someone in front of me, someone behind me, and someone to my left across the aisle. My money says itâ€™s him. Maybe after a few minutes my shnoz will become immune to the smell..I hope.
6:50pm â€“ They just said that we could switch seats if we wanted to and the woman behind me was out of her seat before the captain could finish the sentence. Apparently she smells the B.O. too. Hope she doesnâ€™t think its me. Wait, is it me? (sniffs pits) nope, not me. The guy across the aisle is speaking another language, only adding to the belief that he is the source of the funk. Wait, is that a bad thing to say? oh well I said it. Besides, itâ€™s common knowledge that Americans shower excessively. So there, it was a legit statement.
7:23pm â€“ The guy across the aisle just took his shoes offâ€¦when the flight attendant walks by Iâ€™m going to ask her if they have any Vicks VapoRub that I can smear on my upper lip. Iâ€™m not kidding.
8:00pm â€“ I picked up the latest edition of People Magazine at the airport. Itâ€™s the 50 Most Beautiful People issue. This thing is a crock of crap year after year.
8:07pm â€“ The picture of Michael Jackson and Bill Clinton on page 18 is so weird, itâ€™s beyond weird. Itâ€™s queer. You know you canâ€™t take in the full meaning and foolishness of the picture, yet you canâ€™t look away..thereâ€™s a picture of Arsenio Hall in here and it appears as if he ate the dawg pound. Get the man a Subway sub..Thereâ€™s a picture in here of Jennifer Aniston pregnant for the show Friends. Of course, her stomach is big, but her face is as gaunt as ever. I mean, take a cue from Tom Hanks and bulk up a little bit for the part next time honey. Iâ€™m sure Brad wonâ€™t mind. (note to self: never let my wife see this pic when she is with child.)
switching to central time..
7:15pm â€“ The snack they served on the plane turned out to be a sandwich and chips! woohoo! and before I forget, let me state for the record that I will never, never, NEVER, eat horseradish. Why in the name of Alf would someone create something they want other people to stick in their mouths and call it horseradish. Itâ€™s not like people even like radishes. I mean, if you called it horsepizza, maybe youâ€™d get a few people willing to try it. But horseradish? Iâ€™d sooner drink my own sweat.
7:22pm â€“ I got news for you people, Cameron Diaz is not one of the top 50 most beautiful people in the world. In fact, if they ever expand the field to 50,000 I still think she doesnâ€™t make the cut. Maybe Iâ€™m blind, but I just donâ€™t get it. Same thing goes for Alicia Keys. I really donâ€™t find her attractive at all. I bet she looks like a bruised rat in the morning.
8:15pm â€“ The level of satisfaction I just obtained from completing the People Crossword Puzzle is not healthy.
8:50pm â€“ 40 minutes till we land. thank goodness. I am excited for the weekend but I already miss Kylie and Erica..man am I a whipped puppy.
9:15pm â€“ As we start our descent the B.O. begins wafting againâ€¦whereâ€™s that VapoRub? 1:33am â€“ Landed ok, Nicole and Mark brought me to the hotel. We prepared for the interview and talked for a while..time for bed.
Sunday May 5th
8:14am â€“ I slept alright..thunderstorms were kabooming all night and my body woke up at 6:30 thinking that it was 7:30 but I forced it back to sleep. Weâ€™re meeting Megan before lunch, doing the interview at 2:30, then weâ€™re meeting another couple for dinner before the show. I am just going to relax and enjoy myself all day and soak this whole experience in..it should be a good day.
10:00am â€“ I had breakfast and now am in the Business Center of the hotel. High-speed internet and a printer, what more could I ask for. I am going to spiff up our flyers that we want to give out during the concert.
11:00am â€“ Megan and David just got here from Austin. Megan is cool. David is great company.
12:30pm â€“ We just finished final prepping for the interview and some discussion about the band. Time to head to Kinkoâ€™s and then to the venue.
1:30pm â€“ The guy at Kinkoâ€™s thought he could make our flyers better, but in the end he used our original design. Classic Dufus. That took way longer than it should have, but we now have about 100 index-sized cards to hand out at the show. They are in color and very professional looking.
2:15pm â€“ We just arrived at the venue. Nice place. No sign of Christie (CC Manager) anywhere. We find Jeff, the bass player, and tell him weâ€™re from caedmonscall.net. He says, â€œOh, youâ€™re website is awesome. Much better than ours.â€ Excellent Smithers.
3:00pm â€“ Apparently Jeff couldnâ€™t find Christie. She is still AWOL. We would be completely annoyed, but we have nothing better to do than watch them set up the stage so we donâ€™t mind.
3:05pm â€“ We just talked to Jeff, the drummer, and he is going to finish setting up and grab someone else for the interview. Apparently he was supposed to be looking out for us.
3:15pm â€“ Jeff and Todd accompany us downstairs to our makeshift interview area. They tell us that Derek woke up feeling really sick. Hopefully he feels better by tonight.
4:15pm â€“ back in the car. The interview went extremely well. The guys were hilarious and shared a ton of stuff. Jeff could be my favorite member of the band at this point. The best story he told was of Christie, the bandâ€™s manager, calling him up last month all in a tizzy because we were auctioning off half-eaten sandwiches and used dental floss from the band. Of course, it was a fake rumor, and when he finally stopped laughing, he explained to her how our site works. That made my day.
4:20pm â€“ I havenâ€™t eaten anything since 2 bagels at 9:30am. I am beyond famished. Hereâ€™s some random thoughts on an empty stomach:
-I donâ€™t understand how they can try 12 year old children as adults for terrible crimes. Whatâ€™s the point of even having the distinction if you break it all the time? Itâ€™s like me creating a new eating habit for myself that I will never eat junk food after 8:00pm and then the next day at 9:30pm open up a bag of Doritos because Iâ€™m really hungry. If I was only a little hungry I would stick to the plan, but since I am really hungry, itâ€™s ok. If I did that 2 or 3 nights a week, you would wonder why I even had the rule set up in the first place, wouldnâ€™t you? well, this is the same thing. If we keep â€œtrying kids as adultsâ€ for high crimes, why donâ€™t we just call it â€œtrying kids for high crimesâ€. Does it make us feel better to pretend that theyâ€™re adults when we stick it to em in court? I just donâ€™t get it.
-If I see one more variation of the Calvin and Hobbes character peeing on something or giving me the bird, I will go postal. Just giving you fair warning.
-Does anyone use aerosol deodorant anymore? I canâ€™t believe they still even give this stuff shelf space. Iâ€™m dumbfounded..or just dumb.
6:45pm â€“ We just arrived back at the venue for the concert after devouring a pepperoni pizza at California Pizza Kitchen. Gotta see if us Guilders can get in early.
7:00pm â€“ Waiting to go in for seats, Cliff just came up to us in line and told us that Derek is feeling better now. He also had some good banter going with meganâ€™s husband, my new favorite person. Side note: Die-hard red sox fans share so much in common, itâ€™s easy for us to enjoy each otherâ€™s company.
7:15pm â€“ We got in early and got seats where we wanted. Megan and I just handed out all 100 flyers to fans who probably thought they were getting something important. Letâ€™s hope they generate some hits for us.
8:00pm â€“ Nothing like the buzz right before a concert starts. especially youâ€™re favorite band. Too bad you couldnâ€™t bottle that and sell it at Wal-Mart.
8:45pm â€“ Randall Goodgame opened for Caedmonâ€™s and did a good job. Heâ€™s extremely talented. An Andrew Peterson type with a slightly more palatable voice and piano playing talent that you have to enjoy. Caedmonâ€™s is about to come on stage.
10:45pm – The CC show was very good.
11:30pm â€“ chilling in the Guild Room. Got to meet a few peeps who have frequented the website. We debated with Josh Moore, organ and keyboard player, as to whether or not his long hairdo can be classified a mullet. He was adamant that he didnâ€™t have a mullet. He was right. Derek told us that our website was â€œso much better than theirsâ€. He suggested that they should just link to ours. I told him that he needed to make it happen but we both knew that thereâ€™s a better chance of Ozzy Osbourne and Twila Paris doing a cover of â€œDaring Daylight Escapeâ€ on the next WoW album. said goodbye to the band and started looking for some good eats.
1:00pm â€“ We finally found an IHOP because apparently Dennyâ€™s is just not good enough for some people.
2:15pm â€“ Back at the hotel. Said goodbye to everyone except for Megan, who is taking me to the airport in about 4 hours. The thought of waking up in 4 hours makes me want to light my alarm clock on fire.
Monday, May 6
10:30am â€“ On the plane, on my way back home. Canâ€™t wait to be home. It was a fun trip for sure. An experience I wonâ€™t soon forget. Now Iâ€™m gonna try to get a little shut-eye before we land..adios