From time to time I’ll step into the confessional booth here at the blog and get some things off my chest. It’s kinda like therapy, without the $90/hr tab.
- If I’m carrying an item around a store, and then decide not to purchase it, I will never return it to where I found it. I usually place it on the nearest shelf, and justify it because I feel like I am providing a new task for an employee, and because of this, I am keeping them busy and gainfully employed.
- I’m currently reading 5 books. I absolutely plan on finishing 1. The other 4, I’m not so sure. I am not good at finishing books.
- Erica and I have never missed a season of Big Brother. We will never miss a season of Big Brother.
- When I hear David Archuleta’s single, “Crush”, I don’t change the station. In fact, I usually turn the volume up.
- I talk to myself in the car. Audibly. A lot.
- Every time I’ve seen the final musical scene of High School Musical (which is about 3 times) I get a little choked up. I am not proud of this. But what can I say, there’s something about the notion of people realizing we’re all in this together and helping each other out that resonates with me.
- I’ve been to the gym over 100 times this year. I have done exactly zero ab workouts.
- When I worked at McDonald’s in high school, sometimes they would send me into the back to microwave a whole bunch of chicken meat for the fajitas. One time I grabbed a handful of the chicken and put it in my pocket and ate it during the rest of my shift. Okay, maybe more than once. And yes, I realize how disgusting this is.
- I almost always prefer a watery light beer to a “real” beer
- When I walk by the kiosks in the mall, I often feel bad for the employees who work there. Usually they’re sitting there looking bored or trying to rope you in to buying their crap.
- When I walk by someone wearing a yankees hat or jacket, I pretend to spit on their piece of paraphernalia. I don’t really spit on it, and I don’t do it so they can see it, I only pretend to spit on it behind their back. And I am completely okay with this.
- I have close to no interest in professional basketball at this point in my life. And unless it’s March, I feel the same way about college basketball too.
- Sometimes at work I pick between my teeth with pushpins
- When a telemarketer calls for a “quick survey”, I usually take it. Sometimes I even enjoy it. This week it was a survey on Atlantic City casinos. She said it would be quick but it took 12 minutes. Since I don’t really go to casinos that often, I had to take some creative license with a few of my answers.
- I have a 3-step process for cutting and filing my fingernails. And I get annoyed when I can’t find MY specific nail clippers in the left drawer of my bathroom sink. Sometimes an impostor shows up there and tries to hack up my nails.
- I never wear a new shirt or article of clothing the day i buy it. In fact, I like to let it “brew” in my closet for a while before I break it out. Usually I’ll wait a week or longer before I wear it. I see it as a sign of inner strength and focused patience. Erica sees it as me being an idiot.
Got anything you need to get off your chest? Like my buddy Derek Webb likes to say, this is a safe place for all of us…so go ahead and let us in on your little secret in the comments.
Tags: confessions
Sometimes… When no one’s around…. I really like to make fart noises. It makes me laugh really hard.
I’m 22.
You wouldn’t think so.
thanks for sharing Tony. I won’t judge you for that. I’m 32 with two kids and I like to make fart noises too. I also like to blame the real ones on my kids and on Erica. good times.
One time I was playing Ninja Turtles in the back yard… by myself. I decided to pretend I was Donatello and I grabbed the nearest bo staff (a garden hoe). I twirled that sucker like that Star Wars kid from YouTube. Then I hit myself in the forehead with the metal part… and had to get 5 stitches.
… I was 22 (not kidding)
haha. wow. That is amazing. Thankfully you didn’t go with Leonardo and grab the nearest sword. The question is, did your explanation at the hospital include the words “ninja” or “turtles”?
yeah actually… I explained it pretty much like I just did and his response was, “Well yeah.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant… I’m still not.
Bryan, those are some great confessions. I can relate on some of them and scratch my head on the rest. Guess that’s why it’s hard for people to admit their “deep, dark secrets” huh?
Here’s a couple of mine.
I LOVE new socks. I love how they feel on my feet. If I could, I would buy 365 pair of socks and wear a new pair every day of the year. Not that I’ve ever thought about doing that…
I HATE those tiny chips of ice in my water. If I HAVE to have ice in my water (I usually prefer not to) I like the HUGE chunks of ice. Generally though I prefer to have my beverages already at the consumable temperature so they don’t have to get watered down by ice.
And my final secret (this one may disqualify us from becoming blogger BFFs)…
I’m not really into watching sports. Sad, huh? I would much rather watch a good sci-fi or action movie or do something else. I can enjoy a football game if it happens to be a team I’m cheering for that’s in the Superbowl but otherwise, I’ll pass.
I join you in feeling perfectly fine spitting on Yankee paraphanalia behind fans backs. I see nothing wrong with this. Go Red Sox!!
@Brad – new socks, huh? That is a bit strange. I hate it when socks are too tight. I used to have a couple pairs that took brute force to get on. Ended up throwing those out.
Also, in regards to water, Erica and I both can’t stand ice in our water, either. I like my drinks bordering the cool/cold line, not the cold/frozen line.
As for your lack of sports love, it’s all good. Quite a few of my artistic friends got no love for sports. We can still be Blog BFFs
@Kristy – Let’s start a Pretend Spitting Revolution!
You don’t know me and I don’t know you but that’s ok.
You have shed much needed light on many topics I struggle to understand in my home.
Spitting on Yankee stuff is A-OK!
For probably 355 days a year you cannot see the front seat passenger floor because i have so much trash from driving so much. I litterally depress myself looking at it, and rarely do anything about it. It’s not so horrible in the winter because the peices of food that sit in the bags stay cold and don’t rot.
@mandy – glad to help…and nice to meet you!
@nate – that is disgusting. hilarious and disgusting.
“When I walk by someone wearing a yankees hat or jacket, I pretend to spit on their piece of paraphernalia. I don’t really spit on it, and I don’t do it so they can see it, I only pretend to spit on it behind their back. And I am completely okay with this.”
yeah, I usually think awful, evil thoughts.
“If I’m carrying an item around a store, and then decide not to purchase it, I will never return it to where I found it. I usually place it on the nearest shelf, and justify it because I feel like I am providing a new task for an employee, and because of this, I am keeping them busy and gainfully employed.”
Not cool man, not cool. I currently work retail, and this usually wastes a lot of our time…Time that could be spent with customers, stocking shelves so we’re not yelled at when your desired item is out, or figuring out why the bathroom smells like a dead body.
But…I’m a complete hypocrite because I’ve done the same thing.
(hint: hand it to the cashier when you’re checking out. Chances are they have a pile of other junk to be restocked as well).
Any song co-written by David Hodges (such as Crush) is blare-worthy.
I often carry loose ibuprofen in my pocket. I probably consume a lot of lint in those situations.
i think it’s impossible for me to eat only one bowl of lucky charms at a time. what do they put in that stuff that makes me want to eat the entire box in one sitting? i stop myself at two bowls though, just because…..well, just because i’d like it to last a bit longer.