If there’s one thing we know about fads, it’s that they are here and gone faster than ever before.
Remember that whole “tightrolling your jeans” phenomenon from the late 80s/early 90s (otherwise known as “pegging”)? That would have lasted about 9 minutes in today’s culture. (Expect a return any day now).
Earlier this year everyone was Planking, but just when you got the nerve to give that a shot the kids had moved on to Owling, Batmaning, Keyboarding, Horsemaning, and Pumpkining. (Sadly, three of those five are legitimate things people were doing.)
I bring this all up to say that the popularity of No Shave November is probably past it’s prime. In internet years it just signed up for an AARP card and a Cialis prescription.
What’s going to replace No Shave November once it’s stronghold on the penultimate month of the year has been relinquished? Glad you asked.
7 Alternatives to No Shave November
1. No Shirt November – Like No Shave November, this will be a hit with the guys moreso than the girls. You’ll see dudes everywhere wearing vests, jackets, or scarves with no shirt underneath. It will resemble the zombie apocalypse, only WAY more gruesome.
2. No Shovel November – My own personal vendetta against snow. Who’s with me?
3. No Shout November – The last game of my daughter’s soccer season is called “Silent Sunday”. On Silent Sunday parents are not allowed to scream bloody murder at their kids to “get back on defense!” or “Be more aggressive!”. You may clap and cheer, but no shouting instructions or coaching from the sidelines. I’m thinking we implement this at all major sporting events in November. No shouting, just polite clapping. How could that not work?
4. No Shake November – A movement started by huggers the world over, these folks will refuse to shake your hand no matter the circumstances. Millions of dollars in business deals will collapse at the last minute when one party extends a hand to agree to a proposal and the other party responds with “No Shake November dude. Let’s bring it in for a hug.”
5. No Sugar November – A plea for people around the world to eat healthier. It will be the most unsuccessful campaign in the history of campaigns.
6. No Shot November – A campaign started by PETA asking hunters to put down their guns and bows for 30 days. The second most unsuccessful campaign in the history of campaigns.
7. No Facial Hair November – No it doesn’t start with an ‘S’, but as a direct response to all of the terrible beards that No Shave November has spawned, I think it’s a keeper.
Let us know in the comments.