As October comes to a close, so too does the Youth Soccer season.
And while we rejoice that we are getting our Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons back, we also reflect on the lessons we’ve learned over these past 2 months.
7 Things I’ve Learned at My Kids’ Soccer Games
1. No matter how hard you want it to happen, you cannot pause the live action to walk onto the field and explain basic fundamentals to your children. Maybe someday technology will advance to the point where your whole life has DVR functionality, but for now you’re going to have to explain an offside trap to your kid using GI Joes at home when they’ve already moved on and couldn’t care less.
2. The only person allowed to criticize the kid who just botched a play is the kid’s parent. Everyone else will innocently laugh at the goof-up because it was kind of cute…until it’s their own kid.
3. When you hear a 9-year old player on the other team say to his teammate, “We don’t have to score any more,” you know the game has gotten a bit out of hand. (Happened this past weekend during a brutal 9-1 loss).
4. Speaking of lopsided losses, no one feels worse about being on the wrong end of a blowout than the coach of the losing team. He’s frustrated because the other team is just better, and he’s thinking all the parents are blaming him for being terrible. But trust me coach, we see what you see too. It’s not your fault.
5. I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point a law must have been passed requiring all youth soccer referees to nonchalantly show off their juggling skills during every intermission. We get it. You are good enough at soccer that you can keep the ball from touching the ground for 15-20 seconds but not good enough that you are playing soccer for a living. We are not impressed.
6. You can always identify the parent who used to play soccer because they get a little too into it with the lingo on the sidelines. Hey buddy, I’m pretty sure your 8-year old doesn’t know what it means to “give a square cross from the 18 to the far side of the box.” I think that’s why he keeps looking at you funny. Either that or he has to pee again.
7. There is nothing wrong with daydreaming about what it would be like to join these kids on the field and completely own them. Think about how many goals you could score. I mean, did you see how long it took for one of these 4th graders to get to that ball? You could have raced from the other end of the field, made yourself a sandwich, and then scored from 30 yards out with your left foot. You’ve got to admit, even Ronaldinho the juggling ref would have been impressed with how that just played out in your head.
What about you?
Let us know in the comments…