The 7 Worst Things To Read in Your Yearbook

I did not party in high school. Well, technically I partied twice in high school, and both times were within a week of the last day of Senior year.

So basically I spent 207 weeks as a high school student not drinking or partying, followed by 2 nights drinking (Zima) and partying. My timing couldn’t have been worse.

The week I decided to party like a rock star happened to coincide with the release of our high school yearbooks, which meant that most of the people signing mine were doing so at a party or the night after a party. I remember watching with trepidation as all my friends signed, praying that they wouldn’t write anything specific about my recent emergence as the pre-cursor to Dennis Rodman.

But of course they did. Here’s a sample

A few notes about that.

1. My nickname my senior year from the friends I hung out with was “Lane lane lane lane lane lane lane lane lane”. Creative.

2. I think I made the mistake of telling Eric not to mention anything about the drinking, so of course he opened with “Hey Lush”, stuck a “we’ll party some more and get wasted” in the middle, and closed with “I hope your parents don’t read this”.

3. The reference to Physics class was because I badgered our Physics teacher on a daily basis, often earning multiple¬†detentions¬†every week. That might be a whole post in itself (for instance, I charted what pants he wore every day for a month and called him out on in it in front of the class when he wore the same khakis on a tuesday and a thursday. Then again, now i wear the same jeans all week so I don’t know what the big deal was.)

4. Hey look at the bottom, Andrea said “you’re so funny”. I remember being so happy that she wrote that because even back then it was important to me.

5. Oh and at the top you’ll notice Andrea says, “I don’t know where the hell you’ve been since 8th grade” because like i said, after going to a lot of dances and parties in Junior High, I NEVER partied or hung out with high school friends for 4 years until that week. I also like how she “thought I was immature in 9th grade”. Hello. I’m still immature.

Other embarrassing things in my yearbook:

“You’re a great kid, have a cool summer…we can be drinking buddies?” – Mike W.

“We’ll have to party some more this summer and make up for the first 3 years of high school.” – Stacy C.

“I hope I see you this summer, we’ve got to get wasted some more, guy.” – Brian P

“Remember me always, Tara (the one you wanted to go to school naked)” – Tara C

(I swear I do not remember saying that…yikes. My parents must have been amused by all those great quotes.)

Reading that quote from Tara got me thinking about what would be the worst things to have someone write in your yearbook (that wouldn’t garner an R-rating at the box office). I think Tara’s quote might make the list. Here’s 7 others.

The 7 Worst Things to Read in Your Yearbook

1. “Can’t wait to get smashed and black out and wake up in a stranger’s powder room AGAIN This Summer! We’ll always have that night in jail!!”

2. (from the girl you always had a crush on) “Not sure why we never got together, I always had a crush on you. Maybe when I get back from Belarus in 5 years!!!”

3. “It was great being your girlfriend for the last 4 years, but the ride is over. Watch your step as you exit because I’m dumping you.”

4. “I know what you did last summer. We need to talk.”

5. “I wiped parts of this yearbook on my butt when you weren’t looking.”

6. “What’s up vomet comet!!! May that nickname follow you to your grave, along with the dirty looks we all gave you behind your back for 4 years.”

7. “Hey, I need my gun back. And you might want to burn off your fingerprints and leave the country for a while.”

Alright your turn…

Can you think of anything worse to read in your high school year book?

Or better yet, what year did you graduate high school and do you remember anything memorable that was written in yours?