Books I Didn’t Write is a recurring gag here at the blog. I take a random picture, come up with a title, and then write up a fake review.
Yes, it is as dumb as it sounds.
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The Day the Sun Cried
by Bryan Allain
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Publisher: Muggsy Bogues Press
Status: In Mourning
For Fans of: overcast skies, sadness, boiling tears, weeping, emptiness, brevity, attention deficit disorder, and saline eye rain.
Summary: A collection of Bryan Allain’s shortest stories. Some are only 40 syllables long. Others are wordless.
What People Are Saying:
“Drink lots of water with this one because if the tears you shed don’t dehydrate you, the heavy breathing will.”
“The most efficient stories I’ve ever read. Not a space or a comma was wasted in these precious literary gems. I’d say more, but I’ve already said too much.”
“These stories are so short, they couldn’t even ride the teacups at Disneyland.”
Book Excerpts:
“Fred’s third arm grew at twice the rate of the rest of his body. His decision to model outerwear, while initially frowned upon by his family, turned out to be the best thing for him. But only because it forced him to cut off his third arm.”
“As her body was lowered into the ground, her spirit floated above the funeral service in peaceful solitude. Had she not been so excited about the fact that she could physically see thought bubbles as a dead person, she might have been mad enough to haunt her nephew Jimmy for thinking about the Steelers during her funeral. But wow, visible thought bubbles.”
“Green scarf. Made to fend off boredom. Shelved to avoid clutter. Thrown out to clear closet space. Rotting in a landfill for all eternity next to a Dasani bottle. Mother earth chokes.”
Awards: Book Book of the Year – InstantGratification.com
People Who Liked This Book Also Enjoyed:
- Quick Bathroom Reading for Fun and Hemorrhoid Avoiding
- 101 Stories Shorter than War and Peace
- The Idiot’s Guide To Writing Without Words
- Twilight
- Ninja Quest 2: Riding the Solar Flare
If you want to play along, feel free to submit a book report on this masterpiece in the comments section.
You can check out past Books I Didn’t Write here.