How To Welcome Cyber Guests

Matthew Paul Turner asked me to guest post at his blog this week, and I was more than happy to contribute. It’s Sex Week at his blog (kinda like Shark Week), so if you’re looking for some honest discussion on sex, go check it out.

And if you’re looking specifically for my post, “Sex as a Puzzle”, he’s posting it at 10:30am – here’s the link.

And if you’re visiting here from MPT’s blog, welcome! Subscribe to the feed and give me a couple of weeks to see if I’m worth adding to your life.

Having new visitors got me thinking about the pressure a blogger can feel to impress a new crowd. In honor of that, here’s a helpful list of Do’s and Dont’s for welcoming new visitors.

Do’s and Don’ts of Welcoming Cyber Guests

DO point them to your best posts, like Noah’s Ark according to The Office, Best of the Ramblings, and my Welcome to Intercourse Amish posts.

DON’T point them to a post where you confess that you once worked at McDonald’s and ate chicken fajita meat out of your pocket.

DO put up a picture in which you think you look handsome [note to self: insert handsome picture here when i can find one].

DON’T put up a picture in which you’re either A) a scrawny junior higher wearing a Rude Dog tank top or B) wearing a fake mullet.  Like this:

Do let people know that Jason Boyett once wrote of you and your Twitter prowess, “Dude can write a one-liner”.

Don’t let people know that Jason still can’t get over the fact that you ate chicken out of your pockets.

Do let people know that you post 5 times a week, and most posts are attempts at humor.

Don’t let people know that sometimes nobody laughs.

Do let people know that you’re speaking in 3 different states this fall, and enjoy speaking to youth groups, men’s groups, and church groups.

Don’t let people know that you are a member of Skull and Bones, the Freemasons, MENSA, and AARP.

Do let people know about yourself. Introduce them to your beautiful wife and your two amazing kids.

Don’t introduce them to your imaginary literary agent, Jameson Coventry the III.

Hopefully that’s helpful for all you bloggers out there. Be sure to check out Matthew’s Blog and my guest post, and stay tuned here for more nonsense on a daily basis!