Cabin Fever

If I had been liveblogging our weekend at the cabin this is what it would have looked like…

Friday Night

7:00pm – It’s just under a 3-hour drive from our home in Intercourse to Port Matilda, PA. The cabin we are going to is about 10 minutes from Happy Valley, the home of Penn State. This drive sucks for 5 reasons: 1-it’s raining, 2-it’s at night, 3-I don’t know where I’m going, 4-I’m trying to follow someone, and 5-The roads are curvier than the shoppers at Lane Bryant.

9:30pm – We arrive safely at the cabin and we’re all hanging out: Me & Erica, Than & Kandace, and Jon & Erin. The kids are tucked in bed. We’re trying to watch the presidential debate, but every time we get into it, we start having conversations that are infinitely more interesting than the debate itself. I feel like Obama is being too nice and McCain is winning. I am surprised to find out later that more people thought Obama “won” the debate.


8:30am – I’m a big fan of drinking coffee outside on a crisp fall morning.

1:30pm – We decide to take a hike around the land that the cabin is on. We take advantage of a few photo ops along the way.

The Allains

The Allains

The Deckers

The Deckers (Jon, Erin, Addison)

The DaCostas

The DaCostas (Than, Kandace, Brady)

6:00pm – Jeff & Meredith arrive at the cabin. We set up a mannequin head and some pages ripped out of a Glamour Magazine as targets and shoot guns at them. It’s only the second time I’ve shot a gun, but I enjoyed it. (if you were wondering, I think it was a .22 9mm). I was careful not to be around any murder scenes for the rest of the day as I knew I had gunshot residue on my hands. (Thanks CSI!)

Than shooting the .22

Than shooting the 9mm

10:00pm – We enjoy some crappy cigars and decide that the bullet holes we put in the mannequin’s head were not quite enough punishment. Unnamed assailant #1 lit the mannequin’s hair on fire. Unnamed assailant #2 sprayed various aerosol sprays onto said hair in hopes of encouraging the flames. Ever the journalist, I said nothing and took pictures. When our campfire is discovered by the concerned wives of the assailants, it is quickly extinguished. Despite some residual anger, the marriages can be saved. The mannequin head, however, is a lost cause.

Fiery Mannequin Heads are Fun

11:30pm – It’s guys versus girls in a rousing game of Catchphrase. In a moment of equal parts triumph and embarrassment, I correctly guess “Hermionne Granger” from clues like ‘Herman, and rhymes with danger’. Random Harry Potter trivia…that’s how I roll. The guys win 3 games to 2, but you probably already figured that because we are some brilliant men.

12:30am – Jeff wants us to go look for bears in the woods. Than has other, equally unappealing ideas. Jon is tired. So am I. We decide to crash.


5:00am – I get up to pee. It is pouring outside. We are supposed to golf today. It is my birthday. Boo. Back to bed.

7:44am – I officially turn 32 years old at this very minute. I am asleep however, and celebrate the moment by having a dream that I am preaching at church, only I don’t have any notes and the service is getting chaotic. Dumbest. Dream. Ever.

8:30am – Erin makes me a ham and cheese omelet. This is better than any birthday cake, hands down. I get birthday wishes from my kids and a wonderfully sweet card from my wife. She’s the best.

12:30pm – The rain finally lets up. Parker goes to the pond with Jeff and Meredith and catches a fish. We play some Rummikub. Jon challenges Parker to a Wii boxing match and gets destroyed. Jon makes good on his pre-fight promise and bows to Parker, much to Parker’s delight.

Parker revels in his boxing win

Parker revels in his boxing win

2:30pm – The weather is so nice now, we decide to go golfing. It is my birthday after all. We stop at a mini-mart to buy gatorade. I have the following conversation with the 50-year old cashier:

Me: It’s my birthday.

Cashier: Oh! Happy Birthday!

Me: Thanks! I’m telling everyone.

Cashier: *stares blankly at me, wondering why a 32-year old is acting like an 8-year old*

5:00pm – We finish up 9 holes at the beautiful FreeStone Golf Course. I played lousy, but I did chip in for birdie on #4, so that rocked.

8:30pm – We pull into our driveway, exhausted and ready for bed. Always nice to get away for a couple days with friends. Thanks to Jon/Erin for having us and thanks to the Mannequin Head for being so willing to cooperate.