Cold Sores and Lip Blisters

is there anything worse than cold sores and lip blisters?

Is there a better feeling than redeeming your ‘change can’ for actual dollar bills? It’s like getting free money.

You remember that feeling you got when you first watched American Gladiators? Too bad you can’t bottle that.

I can’t stand it when people at work argue with their spouses on the phone. Is there not a better venue to hash out domestic problems than when you’re sitting in a cubicle farm with 32 other people within a 10 foot radius?

If stomachs had feelings, they would never be more pissed than 30 minutes after lunch at a chinese buffet.

Does anyone actually know someone who was born on Leap Day?

When I am flipping channels and I come across Temptation Island 2, it’s so hard to keep flipping.

I hate maintaining short fingernails, and i hate having long fingernails. Can someone please discover the fingernail-growth gene so we can end this vicious cycle already?