Monday Soup

1 part broth, 1 part noodles, and 3 ounces of lite maple syrup…it’s Monday Soup!

+ Got my copy of The Day the Angels Fell by Shawn Smucker last week and started reading it this weekend!

+ Whether you love football or not, fascinating article on Tom Brady by Gary Bishop at SI. The discipline and dedication to get better at an age when most athletes start accepting the inevitable decline is inspiring. 

+ Hey people who always complain that athletes makes WAY more than teachers and that it is very very wrong on every level…you might be interested to know that Grumpy Cat is worth about 100 Million dollars. A cat who frowns because of genetics. $100MM. Let that wash over you.

Continue reading Monday Soup

NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 15 Precap

Welcome to another edition of the Crystal Schnoz NFL Precaps, a weekly column where the Schnoz looks ahead to all the games played between two professional football teams in which they try to score more points than each other while wearing cool helmets.

If you’ve wandered here by accident, federal law requires you to read this entire post before exiting. Skimming – while not technically illegal – is greatly frowned upon.

Week 15 features 16 games, including one that was played last night! And this week we are completely shifting our focus to playoff implications.

NOTE: I am NOT the Elias Sports Bureau. I have researched these scenarios extensively, but I still might be wrong.

Cardinals 12, Rams 6

Despite losing their 2nd string QB they get to 11 wins, which is basically a microcosm for their season. The circumstances don’t matter to this team, they find a way to win. Bruce Arians is on the short list for Coach of the Year in my book.

The Cardinals are in if the Cowboys-Eagles game doesn’t end in a tie. So basically they’re in because Romo, by law, would have to throw a TD or Pick-Six in OT. This leaves 4 teams (DAL, SEA, PHI, DET) fighting for 3 spots. More on this later.

Continue reading NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 15 Precap

Monday Soup

1 part broth, 1 part noodles, and 17 ounces of egg nog…it’s Monday Soup!

+ It’s been almost a year and a half since my last Monday Soup blog post.

UNACCEPTABLE!!!

+ Gotta give props to my man Bill Simmons for his relentless hounding of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. This guy (Goodell) continues to show a shocking level of incompetence considering that he’s running the country’s biggest sports league and making $44 million a year to do it.

Simmons’ latest podcast with reporter Don Van Natta was particularly eye-opening. Not sure that Goodell should lose his job…though maybe he should…but it really does feel like he’s being paid all that money to take the punches for the owners, and the fact that he keeps bungling decisions doesn’t even matter to them.

+ Speaking of podcasts, you have been listening to Serial, right?

  Continue reading Monday Soup

NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 14 Precap

Welcome to another edition of the Crystal Schnoz NFL Precaps, a weekly column where the Schnoz looks ahead to all the games played between two professional football teams in which they try to score more points than each other while wearing cool helmets.

If you’ve wandered here by accident, federal law requires you to read this entire post before exiting. Skimming – while not technically illegal – is greatly frowned upon.

Week 14 features 16 games, including one that was played last night!

Cowboys 41, Bears 28

Dallas gets to 9 wins!

But will they make the playoffs? I don’t know…it’s been looking more and more like the two wild cards are going to come from the West and the North.

Continue reading NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 14 Precap

Happy Tryptophan Day!

I wrote this eight years ago it’s been a yearly tradition to update it and post it here on the blog for Thanksgiving ever since. Hope you enjoy it, and I hope you enjoy a wonderful holiday week with the ones you love.

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I’ve noticed a disturbing trend over the last few years that seems to gain more and more popularity every Thanksgiving.

structure of tryptophan

The trend in question is the overuse of the word ‘tryptophan’. Yes, that mystery substance in turkey that supposedly makes your eyelids heavy after Thanksgiving dinner.

It seems like only yesterday that attributing your post-meal drowsiness to this little-known amino acid made you sound smart. These days, everyone and their mother-in-law can tell you it’s tryptophan that puts you in a couch coma during the Lions game*. The power of tryptophan has become common knowledge, filed somewhere between “black licorice tastes like the devil’s farts” and “nobody cares about your political rants on Facebook”.

*It should be noted that lots of smart folks believe your post-turkey nap has very little to do with the trace amount of tryptophan found in turkey. As it turns out, tryptophan works best on an empty stomach. So maybe the real reason we sleep after our Thanksgiving meal is because we’ve consumed enough food to feed the entire cast of Modern Family for a week.

My goal is to rid the country of the tryptophan myth one family gathering at a time.

My plan is equal parts idiocy and genius.

My request is that you join me in helping separate tryptophan from the fabric of thanksgiving.

Here’s the plan:

Continue reading Happy Tryptophan Day!

NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 12 PreCap

Welcome to another edition of the Crystal Schnoz NFL Precaps, a weekly column where the Schnoz looks ahead to all the games played between two professional football teams in which they try to score more points than each other while wearing cool helmets.

If you’ve wandered here by accident, federal law requires you to read this entire post before exiting. Skimming – while not technically illegal – is greatly frowned upon.

Week 12 features 15 games, including one that was played last night!

Continue reading NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 12 PreCap

NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 11 PreCap

Welcome to another edition of the Crystal Schnoz NFL Precaps, a weekly column where the Schnoz looks ahead to all the games played between two professional football teams in which they try to score more points than each other while wearing cool helmets.

If you’ve wandered here by accident, federal law requires you to read this entire post before exiting. Skimming – while not technically illegal – is greatly frowned upon.

Week 11 features 14 games, including one that was played last night!

Continue reading NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 11 PreCap

NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 10 Precap

Welcome to another edition of the Crystal Schnoz NFL Precaps, a weekly column where the Schnoz looks ahead to all the games played between two professional football teams in which they try to score more points than each other while wearing cool helmets.

If you’ve wandered here by accident, federal law requires you to read this entire post before exiting. Skimming – while not technically illegal – is greatly frowned upon.

Week 10 features 15 games, including one that was played last night!

Continue reading NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 10 Precap

NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 9 PreCap

Welcome to another edition of the Crystal Schnoz NFL Precaps, a weekly column where the Schnoz looks ahead to all the games played between two professional football teams in which they try to score more points than each other while wearing cool helmets.

If you’ve wandered here by accident, federal law requires you to read this entire post before exiting. Skimming – while not technically illegal – is greatly frowned upon.

Week 9 features 13 games, including one that was played last night! And yes, we’ll briefly touch ‘em all.

Continue reading NFL2014 Crystal Schnoz Week 9 PreCap

SC026 – Shawn Smucker on Writing Fiction

Author Shawn Smucker joins the Schnoz to talk about writing fiction, launching kickstarter projects, hard boiled eggs, snowstorms, electric bills, the NFL, video poker, the Amish, interviewing people in the middle of the night, and so much more.

Oh, and our sponsor for this episode is NeuYear Calendars! Use the code SCHNOZ to save 25% off of your next order if you order before November 1, 2014!

It’s Episode 026 The SchnozCast!

We made it to 26! And they said it would never happen.

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