FILED IN: The SchnozCast

SC003 – John Crist on Comedy, etc.

John Crist joins me to talk about comedy, joke writing, performing, antibiotics, hot girls tweeting about eating old oreos, attraction scores, pastors using google search stats, STOCK UP, STOCK DOWN, and other trivial nonsense.

It’s Episode 003 The SchnozCast!

We made it to three episodes! And they said it would never happen.

Listen/Subscribe in iTunes: The SchnozCast in iTunes

FILED IN: Videos, Weekly Schnoz

The Weekly Schnoz – Season 2, Episode 2

It’s episode 2 of the new season of The Weekly Schnoz and the show goes where it has never gone before…literally.

It’s the longest, warmest, and angriest episode yet. Hope you enjoy!

FILED IN: The SchnozCast

SC002 – Scott McClellan on Conferences, etc.

Scott McClellan joins me to talk about hosting conferences, having the phone number of someone quasi-famous, conferences we’d like to see exist, organ pacts, the terms we use to refer to our friends, STOCK UP, STOCK DOWN, and other trivial nonsense.

It’s Episode 002 The SchnozCast!

We made it to two episodes! And they said it would never happen.

Listen/Subscribe in iTunes: The SchnozCast in iTunes


Vague Headlines

I’ve posted so many of these on my Instagram account that I decided to start a Tumblr to capture all of them in one place.

If you find poorly written headlines amusing, you might like Vague Headlines.

And if you don’t, go back to whatever you were doing.

FILED IN: The SchnozCast

SC001 – Shawn Smucker on Social Media, etc.

Shawn Smucker joins me to talk about social media, procrastination, watching web cams, a social media platform that tracks other social media platforms, STOCK UP, STOCK DOWN, and other trivial nonsense.

It’s Episode 001 The SchnozCast!

I have no idea how many episodes of this podcast will be published when it’s all said and done. Vegas has the over/under on 11.5, so if you’ve got a premonition on how far we’ll make it, go ahead and make some money off of it.

For now, let’s not worry about that.

All that matters is that Shawn Smucker has kicked things off in Episode 001 in fantastic fashion.

Listen in iTunes here: The SchnozCast on iTunes

FILED IN: Humor, Videos, Weekly Schnoz

The Weekly Schnoz – Season 2, Episode 1

New Season.
New Episode.
New Segments.
New Characters.
New Ways to Look Like an Idiot on Camera.

It’s Season 2 of The Weekly Schnoz w/ Stills MacCutcheon – yes, Stills MacCutcheon.

You’re gonna have to watch to understand.

FILED IN: Humor, Videos

A Conference Call in Real Life

Conference calls get the Tripp & Tyler treatment.

FILED IN: Humor, Videos

Christian Farmers Only

Wanted to introduce you to this new dating site for Christian Farmers only brought to you by my friend John Crist.

May you find the love you are looking for in the shadow of the silo.

check out more of John at


On Backing Up Your Computer

This is a guest post from my friend Geof Morris.

If I walked up to you right now, put a gun to your head, and stole whatever computing device you were using to read this, what would you do after I left?

After filing a police report, you’d work with your insurance provider to replace the lost computer. However, we both know that you’d never replace the memories that your computer stores for you: photos, videos, voicemails, letters, what have you. Insurance can only replace the tangible things.

Backups are cheap insurance for the intangible things.

If you’re reading this on a desktop device, you are almost assured to have a spinning disc that does all the storage. If you’re using a laptop, it’s about 50-50 these days. Phones have solid state storage — really, carrying a hard drive around with you sucks, as any old-school iPod user can attest — but all of those can fail.

A hard drive can just … stop. A solid state drive can have a bad filesystem error that corrupts everything. Both of those have happened to me in the last four months, but at no point was I worried, though, because I have backups.

Bryan’s said this before: today, you are one day closer to your hard drive failing. In fact, when Bryan had a crisis a while back, he linked to a piece that I’d run in 2011. I’ve since updated that post, but while that one’s long and technical, I don’t want your eyes glazing over, so this will be friendlier.

At a minimum, you want one copy of your data. That protects you against your hard drive giving up the ghost. But this copy needs to be routinely refreshed and full of everything, and that means that it has to be automated.

In my latest piece on backups, I mention a woman with whom I’d discussed backups. She told me that she was using an external drive “some of the time” and that she kept “the really important stuff” on a “flash drive”, but that she knew that she needed to do better. Are you cringing? Does that sound like you? Does it sound automatic or comprehensive?

What you need are nightly, cloned backups. On the Mac, my go-to for years has been Shirt Pocket’s SuperDuper! On Windows, I’ve gotten very good results with Second Copy. Both of these can be set to do things automatically: nightly backups at 3:30 a.m. works great for most everyone.

Is one copy enough? Probably not. (Okay, it’s not.) Anything automated is likely attached to your computer, so a fire or a burglary will wipe out your backup, too. You should have an online backup. Bryan and I both use CrashPlan, but Backblaze, Mozy, Carbonite, iDrive, and others are great services, too. Do your homework to find out what works best with your operating system, setup (one machine? three?), and budget.

Should you have just one local copy? If a budget is a concern for you, the answer is, “no, but it’s okay.” I personally keep two local copies: one run by SuperDuper! and the other by OS X’s Time Machine. Each have their own uses, and I consider it a belt-and-suspenders approach. It’s served me well, too.

You need at least one backup. You deserve three: two local copies and an offsite one.

If you can afford just one, go with a clone. Two? Add online backup. Software licenses, external hard drives, and yearly service charges are cheap compared to losing all of your data forever.

Backups are cheap insurance.

FILED IN: Readers

An Invitation to The BASIC

I don’t know how many of you out there would actually consider yourself “fans” of what I do, but for those of you who would use that term loosely, this post is for you.

In fact, if you already know you want to join my Special Insiders Club, don’t bother reading all this and just sign up. It’s free and fun and just might change your life:

Sign Up For the Bryan Allain Special Insiders Club

But for the rest of you…

2014 is going to be a fun year. I’m going to be stepping out and trying some new things. I’m going to be re-trying some old things. I’m going to be un-trying some bad things.

I’m planning on doing more of the one thing I love to do above all else: make you laugh.

Now, for those of you who think I’m barely amusing on a good day and could take or leave my humor, the rest of this post isn’t really for you. No hard feelings, I promise.

But for those of you who want to go a little bit deeper down the rabbit hole with me, I’d like to invite you to be a part of a little community I am building around my humor.

Introducing, The BASIC. (Because I love anagrams.)

I have a vision for what this community may eventually become, but for now it will be a simple email list that I’ll use to keep you completely connected to what I’m up to.

You’ve got 10 Questions, I have 10 Answers.

1. Do you really think you can build a huge, thriving fan club for yourself?

Huge? No. I’d actually prefer that this start off smallish for better interactions.

Thriving? Yes. I have a lot of energy for this and think it’s going to be fun.

And I never called it a fan club.

2. Will it cost money?

Of course not.

3. So this is like a newsletter?

No. A newsletter is something you send out regularly because you’re supposed to. This will be driven by connection and community, not a calendar.

6. So it is a newsletter.

Well sort of, but in the most informal, enjoyable way possible. I have hopes and dreams that I’ll be doing humor for a long time in many different ways, and if that happens this community will be a huge part of that journey.

I’ll also be going more in-depth into my journey of quitting my day job (back in August 2012) and what it has looked like since then and going forward. No punches pulled, just the real truth of it all.

7. Will there be perks?

Perks might not be the right word, but I’ll definitely share some extra goodies related to me and my comedy that you might care about.

For instance, I shared a 15-second clip of my first open mic but I haven’t shared the whole three minute set yet. That’s something I would share with The BASIC.

(Some would call that a perk, others would call that torture.)

So you’ll get stuff like that. Outtakes from videos, insights into my plan and process, and other behind the scenes stuff from my life. And remember, I KNOW most people won’t care about this stuff. It’s just for the few of you who do.

8. Are you struggling to come up with ten questions?

Yes, thanks for the help with that freebie.

9. I want nothing to do with this, what’s the next step?

Close this tab in your browser and go back to eating muddy buddies.

10. Maybe I’m on drugs, but I actually want to be a part of this. What next?

Here’s the link. You’ll have to confirm your email address like with any other mailing list, so just follow the instructions.

Sign Up For the Bryan Allain Special Insiders Club

I’m slightly nervous but mostly excited to get this going, it’s gonna be a lot of fun.

And by “fun”, I mean “wicked awesome.”

And by “wicked awesome”, I mean “wicked awesome” because I say what I mean!!!

Seacrest out.

PS…If you have any questions about it, ask me in the comments and I shall respond promptly and with much gusto.