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I’m here to tell you a tale.

A tale that is sort of like a nightmare, only worse.

At least in a nightmare you actually get to sleep.

Sunday night i only got about 4.5 hours of sleep. Erica and I went to bed late, i didn’t sleep well, and I was up early. On Monday I was dragging. I mean really dragging. I felt like I had pulled an all-nighter. This was sort of a problem because i had a softball doubleheader on Monday night.

So on my way home from work yesterday i picked up this small bottle of 5-hr energy for $3.70 at the local Hess. On my way to my game (roughly 6:15pm) i drank about 3/4 of the bottle. The packaging says that for maximum energy to drink the whole thing, for less energy drink half. I split the difference. According to the label, you get 5 hours of energy from the equivalent caffiene of a cup of coffee, plus some other red bull type ingredients like taurine and what not. Sounded fairly harmless. A cup of coffee after dinner is never a good idea for me, but since i was dead tired already, i figured it would be just enough to get me through my set of games.

Well, the games went late, and i didnt get home until after 11pm.  When i got home, Geof and i touched base to make sure we were ready to go with the Caedmon’s news and i was exhausted. Erica and I went to bed at Midnight. Only problem was, my mind was as awake as someone who just fell into an ice fishing hole.

I laid in bed for an hour, until 1am, and then couldnt take it anymore. I went downstairs and texted Jake to tell him that 6:30am breakfast wasn’t going to be happening in the morning. I grabbed a few Cheez-its and watched the Tivoed Red Sox game, hoping i would doze off. No luck.

At 2:30am, the game was over and i went back to bed. 3am came. Then 3:15am. Suddenly i started to realize that my window for falling asleep was quickly shutting. I had moved my alarm time back to 7am, but at what point is it even worth going to sleep?

3:30…3:45…4am. Forget it. I’m not going to sleep at this point. If i do, I’m going to sleep until Noon and call out of work. The other option would be to just go into work at 5am and leave early afternoon to come home and take a monster nap.

I was tempted to just call in sick, but the problem is, i don’t know how much longer i would have been lying awake in bed. That crap might only give you energy for 5 hours, but it can keep you up for 10. Jack Bauer should be using this stuff to torture terrorists.

At 4:15am I woke Erica up and told her that i hadnt slept a wink and that i was going into work. So here i sit. It’s 6:30am, the sun is shining bright, the office is about to fill up, and i feel like a pile of steaming road apples. I’ve slept less than 5 hours in the past 2 nights and I’ve got the bags under my eyes to prove it. Not sure how long I’ll last today, but i’ll give it a shot.

As for 5-hr Energy? Don’t mess around with that stuff. At least not after Noon. It’s the devil’s elixir.