If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Never eat McDonald’s before a basketball game. On monday night I made this mistake for the first and last time…

As Erica and I put up our christmas tree last night, it got me thinking. Who’s idea was it to cut down an evergreen tree and stand it up inside of one’s home and hang things on it? The whole idea of a “christmas tree”…who is responsible for this? A little research might lead me to an answer, but frankly I don’t care. If I really think about it, bringing a dead tree into my home and hanging balls on it really should be on the “Asinine things I’ve done this year” list…

One of the most frustrating things in modern day sports to me is the fact that College football will not institute a playoff system. Every other sport in the entire world (NBA, MLB, NFL, NHL, NCAA basketball, NCAA baseball, NCAA Hockey, Arena Football, College Lacrosse, you get the point) has a playoff system. And yet the institution of NCAA football refuses to budge on their “bowl system”. The reason, of course, is money. Instead of 1 big game to finish the season, you get 15 big games to finish the season, and everybody makes an extra nickel. But really, can we all wake up and smell the crap here people? The BCS, although not perfect, is a decent system. Let’s use the BCS rankings to determine the top 8 teams in the country and have a playoff. I know that there would still be arguments about who should be No. 8 and No. 9, but ultimately, the college National champion would be decided on the field and whoever won would have done so by beating 3 top-8 teams in a row to win the title. It’s players like Joey Harrington at Oregon that are getting the shaft by the current system and it has to stop…

Batteries are pretty amazing, aren’t they? the whole concept of sticking different metals together and harnessing the resultant electron transfer that occurs into energy. Just one more invention that I never could have dreamed up in a million years. We’re now looking at untippable scooters, Digital television, and wireless web and I am still amazed by batteries, telephones, and toilets…

one final note. here’s a tip for anyone who might happen to find themselves driving behind me on the road. If we are driving on a two-lane freeway in a construction zone and I am in the left lane going 50 mph when the Speed Limit is 40 mph and the fines are doubled, do not ride my butt expecting me to change lanes in order for you to pass me. First of all, I am already going 10 mph over the speed limit, second of all, fines are doubled, and third of all, flashing your lights at me is not going to make me say “oh he’s flashing his lights! I better let him pass me now!” If you really want to pass me that bad, do it on the right. I am already breaking the law and you shouldnt be going any faster than I am. But if you want to break the law even more than I am, I’m not gonna just move over and cater to your every whim. I will not aid and abet such criminal behavior. Find another way to get by me cuz I ain’t moving…

is there anything worse than cold sores and lip blisters?

Is there a better feeling than redeeming your ‘change can’ for actual dollar bills? It’s like getting free money.

You remember that feeling you got when you first watched American Gladiators? Too bad you can’t bottle that.

I can’t stand it when people at work argue with their spouses on the phone. Is there not a better venue to hash out domestic problems than when you’re sitting in a cubicle farm with 32 other people within a 10 foot radius?

If stomachs had feelings, they would never be more pissed than 30 minutes after lunch at a chinese buffet.

Does anyone actually know someone who was born on Leap Day?

When I am flipping channels and I come across Temptation Island 2, it’s so hard to keep flipping.

I hate maintaining short fingernails, and i hate having long fingernails. Can someone please discover the fingernail-growth gene so we can end this vicious cycle already?