In case you missed it last week, I lost. Tyler and I had been racing to 1000 Twitter followers, and in the end he hit the thousand mark before I could even get to 800. Pathetic.

Do you know who his 1000th follower was? It was me. Because when you can’t beat em, you join em. So that’s what I did. In an act of pure class and grace, I became his 1000th follower, sealing my own defeat.

Tyler, on the other hand, wasn’t quiet as gracious, claiming that destroying me was the pinnacle of his existence to date.

Congrats to Tyler’s wife Amy and his kids for coming in second place to me! Your marriage and births, respectively, pale in comparison to his accumulating 1000 followers faster than I could. You must be proud.

And so, to bring closure to this whole embarrassment, I thought a press conference was in order. If you missed it on CNN and MSNBC yesterday, I have the video from it right here.

Bryan vs. Tyler Twitter Press Conference from Bryan Allain on Vimeo.

Congratulations Tyler. You win, you always do.

My friend Tyler and I are racing to see who can get to 1000 Twitter followers first.

As of yesterday he was beating me 490-425. This is unacceptable people! This is a dude who refers to his receding hairline spots as his “power alleys”.

(Tripp is racing with us too, but dude already has 800+ followers on Twitter, so he can go take a dump as fas as I’m concerned. Oh and then there’s Jon and his 4000+ followers: dead to me.)

In case you haven’t caught on yet, Twitter’s not just about “what I had for lunch”. It’s also a great vehicle for sharing funny thoughts about the absurdities of everyday life in 140-character bursts.

In order to show you that Twitter can be used for good, Jon, Tyler, Tripp and I are posting 10 of our favorite Tweets from the past few weeks on our blogs today.

You can check their Twitter Highlights out here: Tyler – Tripp – Jon

Here’s mine:

+ gonna start referring to constipation as “stationary bowels” & I’m gonna eat a lot of cheese so I can overuse the new term.

+ If I had to make a list of things I wouldn’t want to eat, mulch would definitely crack the top 500.

+ Buying lunch from the cafeteria at work: $6.41. Stealing it: Priceless.

+ Every time you eat a sandwich at the beach you’re swallowing a few of Abraham’s descendants. Gross, crunchy descendants.

+ Life Rule #406: Never, under any circumstances, watch Bicentennial Man starring Robin Williams.

+ Want 250 brand new twitter followers every day??? Take Lunesta & dream about it, because it’s the only way it’s happening.

+ if everyone donated their lint trap excrement, we could make blankets for the cold homeless of the world. laundromats unite!

+ Kylie, my 7.5 year old, used air quotes yesterday. correctly. hilarious and frightening at the same time.

+ someone just texted me about a dodgeball tournament. honestly, i’d rather eat a dodgeball than play dodgeball. no thanks.

+ at the end of a bowl of cheerios i always congratulate the last cheerio. u made it to the end buddy! then i eat him slowly.

C’mon…you know you want to…

Follow me on Twitter if you dare. And definitely follow Jon, Tripp, and Tyler.

Is Twitter ridiculously narcissistic and seemingly pointless? Maybe.

Personally, I like it. It’s a great way to stay connected to a lot of people at once. It also gives you an opportunity to peek into the lives of people our culture deems as celebrities. Take a look at these 9 tweets from the past 2 weeks:

1. Ashton Kutcher sharing marriage advice (and good advice at that!)

2. Shaquille O’Neal shows why he’ll weigh 500 pounds once he retires from the NBA.

3. P. Diddy trying to inspire some folks. I love it.

4. Demi Moore talking about the book, The Shack, and how her husband – the aforementioned Ashton Kutcher – read it and enjoyed it.

5. Ryan Seacrest bemoaning the fact that he spilled coffee on his blackberry. He even posts a picture of it, that you can see here.

6. Milwaukee Bucks player Charlie Villanueva tweets an update from halftime of the NBA game he is playing in. When his team found out he was twittering from the locker room, they were none too amused, even though Charlie scored a team-high 19 points in helping the Bucks to beat the favored Celtics.

7. Derek Webb grinding through the final steps of finishing his next record, Stockholm Syndrome. And you thought those choruses just magically came to him?

8. Tina Fey talking about farting in bed.

9. New Late Night host Jimmy Fallon uses twitter to tease what’s coming up on his show later that day.

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Pretty cool huh? I think so.

Not because I put these folks on a pedestal, but because this window into their lives show that they do the same things we do. They struggle through their work like we do, they read the same books as we do, and they fart in bed and trap the gas under the covers like we do. Did I already know that? Of course I did. It’s just fun to see it in real time.

If you want to follow me, or any of those folks on Twitter, sign up for an account and follow these links to their pages.

• Bryan Allain’s Twitter
• Ashton Kutcher’s Twitter
• Shaq’s Twitter
• P Diddy’s Twitter
• Demi Moore’s Twitter
• Ryan Seacrest’s Twitter
• Charlie Villanueva’s Twitter
• Derek Webb’s Twitter
• Tina Fey’s Twitter
• Jimmy Fallon’s Twitter