I went to the dentist yesterday to have a filling put in, and once again I was reminded of how messed up the novocaine thing is for me.

Here’s how the filling/drilling experience always works out (I’ve provided a timeline and a graph because i want to cater to both my nerdy and my visual readers).

A timeline, for the nerds

Injection – a needle full of anesthesia is jammed into my inner cheek (one of the Top 5 worst places I would ever want a needle shoved into…and no, that list will not be a future blog post).

10 minutes later – he’s in there chipping pieces of my tooth off with a hammer and chisel. I can still feel what’s happening a little too much. Would it have killed him to wait another 5 minutes? It probably would have.

15 minutes later – he’s done and I’m driving home with no feeling in one side of my head. I almost get into an accident because I keep checking the mirror to see if my face is still there.

3 hours later – I still can’t feel anything so I lay my head against the hot burner on the stove just to get a rise out of my kids. Kills em every time.

5 hours later – the novocaine is wearing off, but now all I can feel is the hunger pangs from not eating for half the day. I try to eat a snack but end up eating my tongue instead.

Bedtime – I go to kiss my wife and accidentally bite off a piece of her cheek. I’m so hungry, it actually tastes okay. Maybe we’ve been a little too harsh on the cannibals all these years.

Here’s a graph, for the visual folks

Does this happen to you too or am I the only one?

Or are you one of those crazy people who gets fillings with no novocaine?

Gotta hate the dentist.