As I was cleaning up my Google Reader subscriptions yesterday I realized how many blogs I used to read have fallen by the wayside.

Some have stopped being good, others have just stopped.

It made me want to celebrate the blogs that I love the most, so here they are. (and since it’s the all-star break in the Major Leagues, let’s make these folks grab their gloves and play the field.)

The 2010 BryanAllain.com Blog All-Stars

Here’s the lineup card:

P – Jon Acuff (StuffChristiansLike.net) [what i love] – Jon is consistent. I know I’m getting a funny post from Jon 4 days a week, a serious post on wednesday, and something community-related on saturday. I know I’m getting his authentic voice because he has done such a good job developing it. To me, Jon is the definition of a great blogger.

C – Tyler Stanton (TylerStanton.com) [what i love] – Tyler is one of the funniest people I know. When he writes something funny on his blog, it’s not just trying to be funny, it actually is funny. It also helps that he knows the power of self-deprecation. He knows about self-defecation too, but we won’t get into that here.

1B – Ben Arment (BenArment.com) [what i love] – I love reading Ben’s blog because of the things Ben has done in his life. He’s written a book, started a conference, planted a church, and left good jobs more than once to pursue his dreams. That kind of resume earns cred with me, and it’s the reason I find his blog so inspiring. Though he might not write as much as he used to, and despite his veiled threats about leaving blogging for tumblr, it’s still one of my go-to sites.

2B – Darren Rowse (ProBlogger.net) [what i love] – Darren blogs for a living and is open and transparent about the things he has done to put himself in that position. Through guest posts and his own writing, he provides consistent inspiration for bloggers like myself who want to get the most out of all the time and effort that goes in to maintaining a healthy blog. Likable, humble, and a great teacher, Darren is the real deal.

Continue Reading

Author: Jon Acuff

Book Name: Stuff Christians Like

I’m Glad it Wasn’t Called: I am the George Washington of Christian Satire and this book is the literary equivalent of the Battle of Valley Forge.*

*Jon has never claimed to be the George Washington of Christian Satire, but I’m about to make a joke about George Washington and it will be marginally funnier if it’s a callback.

Book Synopsis in Twitteresque 140 characters or less: Jon uses intelligent satire to poke fun at a group he is a part of, clearing away the clutter of Christianity to see the beauty of Christ.

Where I Bought It: Amazon.com, a small online retailer you’ve probably never heard of.

Paid for With: A credit card that has since expired. Now there’s something George Washington never had to deal with 250 years ago…expiring credit cards. Of course, I’d rather deal with that then having multiple bouts of dysentery and doctors who thought “bleeding” people was a medically sound treatment option.

How Long it Took Me to Read: 20.5 days, give or take a month.

Who I WOULD NOT recommend this book to: people who have no idea what a “Christian” is. Without some type of context for Christianity, I don’t think the book will make any sense. Lucky for Jon, that only eliminates about 75 of the 300 million people in the U.S.

Who I WOULD recommend this book to: definitely any Christian. If you can’t read this book and laugh at yourself, then I don’t know why you’re reading my website right now. At the same time, I think non-Christians will get a kick out of the book too. (Kinda like the Romans used to enjoy watching us getting eaten by lions, but without the barbaric vitriol and horrific sound of teeth on cartilage.)

What I used for a bookmark: nothing. For some reason I thought I could remember what page I was on in this book because every time I put it down (usually at the end of a cable-laying session) I was at a page number I thought I could remember. “Ooh, I’m on page 100, that will be easy to remember”…”Okay, I’ll read to page 144, which is 12 squared, that will be easy to remember”. Needless to say, I spent the first ten minutes of every dump trying to figure out where I left off.

What were some interesting true stories from the book: Not a lot of stories in the book, just a lot of things that make you laugh. I’d recall some of my favorites, but I gave the book away already. (Ooh, but I have to mention this. In the book Jon suggests that Christians asking God for “a hedge of protection” might not be scary enough to ward off evil. I laugh every time I hear that now because I picture one of Jon’s replacement ideas: lions on trampolines.)

What were some interesting true stories NOT from the book: Jon and I hung out for 2 days at Catalyst in October last year and it was good fun. Jon even took me out to dinner with his publisher, which I wrote about last year. Why none of this stuff was in the book is a mystery to me. (And no Jon, the shout out in the acknowledgments section doesn’t make it all better, but nice try.)

Expectations Going In: Confession: I think Jon is very funny, but sometimes I don’t read his longer blog posts. I kinda thought the book would be the same way. I’d read some pages and skim others. I expected a funny book, but not an amazing book.

Cannarf Rating: Jon took my expectations, built an altar around them, soaked them with clown tears, and called down comedic fire to consume them. Stuff Christians Like blew me away with consistent creativity and unpredictable humor. I laughed at the new material, I laughed at the old material, and I laughed at material that was having a mid-life crisis and was driving around in a tricked out Nissan Cube . Can’t recommend this book enough.  The Rating: +3 cannarfs. (what’s a cannarf?)

Have any of you read Stuff Christians Like? What did you think?

I got this text from Jon yesterday at lunch.

So nice of Jon to give me a shout out in the interview. Here’s what he said:

An evangelical magazine recently named you one of the funniest Christian writers alive. Who else should make the list?

I think Tripp Crosby, Tyler Stanton and Bryan Allain should make that list. Another new author named Chad Gibbs regularly kills me. A girl nicknamed “Stacy from Louisville” too. I’m too young and new to be on that list. I’m only two years into this satire Christianity thing and have a long way to go, so I’m not sure I am one of the funniest Christians alive. Although as a Christian, you’re supposed to reject compliments so maybe that’s what I’m doing.

Thanks again Jon for the kind words. When you’re trying to be funny (like I am) and someone funnier than you (like Jon) tells you you’re funny, you eat that stuff up like candy. Speaking of which, I’ll be chewing on that compliment all weekend like it’s a frozen Now & Later.

FYI…Kevin Roose did a great job with the interview, which you can read in it’s entirety here.

Getting dumped was the worst, wasn’t it?

Believe me when I tell you it was the worst because I should know. I went out* with a bunch girls in junior high and was dumped by all but one of them.**

*by “went out”, I mean that we referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend and occasionally made eye contact while passing notes. There was no “going” anywhere. As I’ve said before, you can Google “Worst Boyfriend Ever” and read all about my junior high relationships.

**Of all the girls I “went out” with, Tracey might have been the nicest one and I dumped her twice. I’m an idiot.

Anyhoo, based on my extensive research, here’s what I’ve come up with.

The 10 Most Popular Ways to Get Dumped in Junior High

(ranked from least to most heart-wrenching)

1 – The Note. This is the easiest way to get dumped. You can read the news slowly or get it over quickly. Choose Your Own Breakup Pace! You can also use the note to dry your tears, so bonus points if she scribbled it down on a napkin during lunch. Later that night you can re-read the note for the 375th time, looking for clues to see if there’s a chance she’s still into you. And when you finally realize it’s over, you can burn the note and feel some real closure. It’s a win for everyone.

2 – The Friendly Water Fountain. My research has shown that 41% of all middle school breakups occur at the water fountain. There must be something about water that tastes like dirty iron that is an antidote for love. But hey, at least she asked YOUR friend to deliver the news to you. What she’s saying is, “I don’t care enough about you to do this gently, but I’m sure Jason does so I’ll let him tell you that I think you’re an idiot and not nearly as cute as you were last week.” And if Jason’s a real friend he’ll leave out the details and just tell you you’re dumped, and then he’ll ask you to come over later to play Contra on his Nintendo to help with the healing process because he knows the code to get 30 lives instead of 3. Now that’s a real friend.

3 – The Enemy Water Fountain. This is just like the last one, except it’s HER friend and she doesn’t let you down as easy as your buddy did. Probably because she was the one trying to convince her best friend to dump you for the last two weeks. She probably even cracked a slight smile when she delivered the news that made you want to punch her in the face. But you didn’t because you’re a lover, not a fighter. And because she could probably beat you up.

4 – The Alexander Graham Bell. Of all the ways to get the news directly from your (ex)-girlfriend, over the phone is definitely the easiest. You can’t see the smile on her face and she can’t see your ugly “I’m trying not to cry” face. And if things get too awkward, either of you can just hang up and destroy the phone call the way she just destroyed your heart. Thanks for nothing, technology.

5 – The After School Special. If she’s going to dump you face to face, at least she did it right as you were leaving school. This gives you a solid 16 hours to go through the 7 stages of grieving. And hey, if you can successfully make yourself puke in the morning by thinking about making out with the mustachioed cafeteria lady when she’s got a mouthful of school french fries, you can stay home from school and turn that 16 hours into 40!

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To see the second half of this list, click here.

PS … I’ve got a guest post today at Stuff Christians Like – 10 Ways to Know You’re at a Christian Concert.

In case you missed it, that $30,000 my friend Jon Acuff (the Stuff Christians Like dude) was trying to raise through his readers? Well, he raised it. ALREADY. IN 18 HOURS!

Pretty amazing, if you think about it. A funny dude who blogs on the side of his regular 9 to 5 has such a committed bunch of readers, that they partnered with him and donated $30K in less than a day.

I think it’s remarkable, and so did the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, which ran a story about Jon and his readers on Wednesday.

So many people missed the first window of giving, that Jon has decided to raise another $30,000 for a second school in Vietnam. And as of this morning he had already raised one third of it.

If this is the first you’ve heard of this, you can read Jon’s post about it here. Or you can go here to see how much has been given and donate yourself.

Thanks again for considering

pps…May or may not be a top secret project in the works that involves Jon, yours truly, and some other studs. More info on that as early as next week.